The One With All the Reversals
by Exintaris
Summary: What would happen if the Friends started acquiring each others', or new, characteristics, back in the beginning? Couples develop, but not those of the show.
1. Strange Behaviour

**The One With All The Reversals**

by: **Exintaris**

Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

This was partly inspired by rossandrachelforever's nice little piece The One With the Switched Personalities, which I urge you all to read because it is _funny_. I hope that this will be too. In a sense, it is also like The One That Could Have Been, in that it is trying to imagine how things could have worked out differently, and so it takes place back at the beginning, before Ross and Rachel got together, let alone anyone else. For those who know Friends right from the beginning, it should start somewhere after the middle of Series 1; there are some references to events in Series 1 episodes. I have not finally decided how it's going to end, so suggestions are welcome, but I can't promise to act on any of them. Don't bother to suggest that they will get together in the standard couples, though, because that's not the point.****

-----

Monica woke and looked at the alarm clock. It showed about ten minutes after the time when she usually got up. Ordinarily this would have catapulted her out of bed and into the bathroom, in a panic that everyone would be there wanting breakfast before she was ready for them. But this morning she felt laid back about the whole thing. She told herself that the world would not come to an end if everything wasn't on the table. In fact, she thought in a moment of unwonted rebelliousness, maybe they could get their own damn breakfasts for once, instead of relying on her. She wasn't their mom. She closed her eyes again, luxuriating in the unaccustomed feeling of lazing in bed.

Faint noises began to come to her ears from the direction of the living room. This intrigued her enough that she decided to get up and investigate. When she opened her bedroom door, the noises became clearer, the sounds of vigorous washing up. Still more intrigued, she went into the living room, to see Rachel at the sink, fully dressed and wearing an apron, finishing off the last mugs and glasses from the night before.

Rachel turned and smiled at her. 'Hi Mon!' she said cheerfully. 'I just thought I'd get this out of the way.'

'Wow!' said Monica, completely taken aback. 'What's brought this on?'

'Well, you know, I woke a bit early and was lying in bed thinking, and I remembered that we left stuff from last night, and it just didn't seem fair to leave them for you, when you do so much for us.' Rachel smiled at her again.

Monica was quietly amazed. Was Rachel really turning over a new leaf? 'Thanks, sweetie,' she said. 'That's great. I'll get the coffee on.'

They were beginning breakfast when Joey and Chandler arrived. Joey sat down and then looked round the table. 'Where are the Cheerios, Mon?' he said in a disgruntled tone.

Just as Monica was about to tell him to get them himself, Rachel leaped up.  'Here you go, Joey,' she said, getting them out of the cupboard. 'Anything else while I'm up?'

Both Chandler and Joey looked at her in surprise. 'Is there going to be some kind of waitress competition, and you're practising?' Chandler asked.

'Why, no,' said Rachel, sounding bemused. 'Just trying to be helpful.'

As their surprise deepened into complete perplexity, Ross came in, looking very cheerful.

'What a great day,' he said. 'All the birds are singing, and the tree buds are bursting, and the flowers are out … You know, I sometimes think the problem with studying dinosaurs is that they're all dead. Sometimes I feel like studying stuff that's still alive.'

He helped himself to cereal and coffee, oblivious to the way his sister and friends all stared at each other in a wild surmise. Before they could comment, Phoebe also came bustling in.

'This'll interest you, Pheebs,' said Chandler. 'Ross was saying that the problem with studying dinosaurs is that they're all dead.'

Phoebe cocked her head. 'Well, yeah,' she said, 'but that's true of the ancient Greeks and Romans and stuff like that, and people still study them.'

'That's an interesting argument, Pheebs,' said Ross, 'but isn't that because we still have their voices, in their literature, and we can see them in their art, so they're not wholly dead?'

Phoebe looked lost in thought for a moment, evidently searching for a reply, while the others gaped. Phoebe engaging in rational argument?

Then her face cleared. 'Ah, but archaeologists also study past societies that have left no written records or even pictures of themselves,' she said.

Ross grinned and ducked his head. 'You got me,' he said. 'Well done, Pheebs.'

She smiled. 'I'm not just a pretty face, you know. I _can_ think,' she added in a fake-vicious tone.

He nodded. 'How about this? Maybe it's that we can feel empathy with any kind of human being, but dinosaurs … man, they're just so long ago, and most of them are so _big_, and the climate's so _different_, and all that. It takes a real effort to imagine their world.'

'But what a fascinating world!' said Phoebe enthusiastically. 'I wish I had your knowledge, Ross.' She gazed at him in apparent admiration. 'It must be so great to be able to pick up some fossil and know all about it.'

Ross shrugged, though he looked pleased. 'It's no big deal, if you've spent your life learning it. Maybe you'd like to come and look at my fossils some time? I've got all kinds.'

'I'd love to,' said Phoebe eagerly. 'How about tonight?'

'Uh … okay,' said Ross, evidently taken aback by her eagerness. 'Let's fix the time later, in Central Perk, when I get out of the museum.'

'Great!' said Phoebe, clapping her hands. 'I'm looking forward to it already.'

'Is anyone else feeling faint?' Chandler asked, looking around. 'Maybe this is a dream. Someone pinch me.'

Rachel leaned over and gave his butt a half-pinch, half-caress.

'Whoa!' he cried, jumping half out of his seat. 'That was some pinch!'

'Well, it proves you weren't dreaming!' said Rachel playfully.

Chandler turned to her and smiled his most winning smile. 'I'm not so sure about that,' he said. 'When I look at you, sometimes I think I must be having the most beautiful dream.' There was no suggestion in his voice that he was joking.

'Ooh, _Chandler_!' said Phoebe, giggling, while Monica's jaw dropped, Ross glowered, Joey looked completely flabbergasted, and Rachel blushed slightly but did not look displeased.

'Would anyone like to tell me what the _hell_ is going on?' said Joey plaintively. 'It seems to me, people are beginning to act strange.'

'Yeah, I feel like that too,' said Monica. 'Hey, Joey, are you sure you've had enough? You haven't taken a second bowl of Cheerios.'

'Oh, one's enough,' said Joey. 'Lot of sugar in those things, ya know. An actor needs to be careful what he eats.'

'You feeling OK, Joe?' said Ross, frowning. 'It's not like you to pass up free food.'

'Well, it's not like you to dump on dinosaurs, either,' Joey replied spiritedly.

'Oh, well,' said Ross casually. 'You can have too much of dinosaurs, you know.'

There were several gasps, and Monica felt that if she had many more shocks to the brain she _would_ faint. What was up with everybody? Rachel being willingly domestic – Ross acting tired of dinosaurs – Phoebe arguing with him like a professor and wanting to know about fossils – Chandler coming on to Rachel – Joey turning down food – it was enough to make anyone's head swim. She got up.

'I'm going to take a nice long shower,' she said. 'Don't need to be at the restaurant for a good while yet. You'll clear away, won't you, Rach? But no hurry, mind.'

'G-glad to, Mon,' said Rachel, as she looked after Monica in some amazement. Ordinarily Monica would have thrown herself into making everything look as neat and tidy as possible as soon as there was any sign that breakfast was over. She had been known to clear away plates as someone was lifting the last mouthful to their face. What had come over her?

-----

'What the hell was that, Chandler?' said Joey as they returned to their apartment.

'What the hell was what?' said Chandler flippantly.

'You were coming on to Rachel,' said Joey. 'You've never done anything like that to any of the girls before.'

'Why, no, I don't think I have,' said Chandler, looking around for the phone, picking it up, and sitting down, 'but you know what, Joey? From now on, maybe I will. It's crazy to hang around with these hot chicks and never make a move, especially when they seem to be having such problems getting dates.'

'But … but … that's not like you!' Joey stammered, also sitting down. '_I'm_ the one that should be trying to hit on them, if anyone is.'

'Well, why don't you?' said Chandler in apparently sincere surprise. 'I certainly won't stop you.'

'Oh well,' said Joey, dropping his eyes, 'I got off on the wrong foot with Monica; I won't get anywhere there. And Phoebe … I guess she'd just laugh. I'm not sure even Rachel would take me seriously.'

'But do you want to be taken seriously?' said Chandler. 'What happened to new-girlfriend-every-week Joey?'

Joey looked down and mumbled something unintelligible.

'Well, if you'll excuse me, I must make a phone call or two,' said Chandler. He tapped a number into the phone, and smiled when there was an answer. 'Hi, Aurora. It's Chandler. Look, I've been thinking, and I've realised I was stupid to break up with you. I'm at a bit of a loose end at the moment. Any chance you could … fit me into your schedule? Well, what time would suit you? Right, see you tonight.' He rang off and smirked at Joey, who was looking at him in amazement. 'Well, that should take care of the immediate problem, but of course Aurora's just for fun. For a more serious relationship I would look elsewhere.'

'I thought you got out because she was married _and_ had other lovers,' Joey protested.

'Yes, but I've realised that was _dumb_,' said Chandler. 'I mean, if you could go to bed with someone like Aurora, no strings attached, wouldn't you?'

Joey just shook his head, unable to understand this sudden change in his friend. Before he knew it, Chandler was telephoning again. His eyes bulged as he heard Chandler start exactly the same way. 'Hi, Janice. It's Chandler. Look, I've been thinking, and I've realised I was stupid to break up with you. Will you give me another chance?' He listened for a while, occasionally wincing. 'Well, okay, if you want to be like that about it …' He held the phone away from his ear. Janice had evidently cranked up the volume; Joey could almost hear her words. When the flow slackened, Chandler tried again. 'Yes, I thought we were great together too, it's just that … look, why don't we meet for a drink and I'll explain? I can't talk frankly now, Joey's here. Well, I can't make tonight, but tomorrow is certainly possible. Okay, six tomorrow in Central Perk and we'll go on from there.'

He rang off and again looked at Joey, whose mouth was now open in shock. 'You got a problem, my friend?'

'Janice?' queried Joey. 'You're trying to start things again with Janice_ as well_? Why would you do that?'

'Well, only if I can get her to tone down a bit,' said Chandler.'As to why, well, she has a great body and she's a great lover. It's just, when she opens her mouth … I'm not sure she's aware of how irritating she can be. I'll go easy on her, but I want to see if she can change a little bit.' He looked at his watch. 'Time to go to work. See you, Joe.'

'I suppose you'll be trying to get dates there too,' Joey jibed.

'Well, why not?' said Chandler. 'There are some cute secretaries, and plenty of the data processors look good too.'

Then he was gone, leaving Joey sitting in befuddlement, slowly shaking his head.

-----

That morning in Central Perk, Gunther noticed Rachel leaning against the counter near him, gazing at him fixedly. Could this be it, he asked himself.

'Anything I can help you with, Rachel?' he asked, adding "my love" in his mind.

'I was trying to pick up on what you did when you fixed all those different coffees and teas and things,' she said. 'Seems to me, I ought to learn this stuff.'

'Oh,' he said, trying to conceal his disappointment. 'Well, want me to show you some things while we're slack here?'

'Sure thing,' she said, bright-eyed.

Maybe I can get her interested in me this way, he thought to himself. But though she expressed gratitude to him for the tutorial in producing coffee and other drinks, and they fixed a time for another one, it was clear that this was what she was really interested in, not him. She seemed finally to be trying to improve as a waitress, though, which was a good thing. He would not have to keep placating disgruntled customers and pleading with Terry for her to be given another chance. Personally, he thought a lot of the customers came in to look at her and could care less whether she was efficient or not; but it would undoubtedly be a plus if she was. Observing her surreptitiously for the rest of the morning, he noticed that she did indeed seem much improved, attentive to customers, getting their orders right first time, and much more careful about clearing stuff away. I wonder why she's changed now, he thought.


	2. Phoebe's New Song

Chapter 2

When they met in Central Perk that evening, the friends had very different things to recount about their day. Rachel was so keen to tell them how much she was learning that she was in danger of becoming boring, but luckily Monica intervened to head her off before too long.

'Rachel, sweetie, this is all very interesting for you,' she said, 'but I for one know a lot about it already. How was your day, Joey? You're looking a little down.'

'I don't know what's the matter with me,' he moaned. 'There I was on this advertising shoot, with all these hot chicks around, and I just couldn't seem to get up the nerve to ask one for a date. And they didn't show much interest in me either, like I was projecting something that turned them off. I can't understand it.'

'Gee, Joey, that's too bad,' said Rachel, with slightly fake-sounding sympathy.

'What makes it worse is the way Chandler's behaving,' said Joey grumpily. 'Suddenly I'm the one without dates and he's all over the place: Aurora this evening, Janice tomorrow, who knows who next.'

'Well, maybe you've used up your dating allowance,' said Ross.

'What's that supposed to mean?' said Joey.

'Don't you think there might be some power that oversees our love-lives, and it's decided, Joey Tribbiani has exceeded his quota for this year?' said Ross.

Phoebe snorted. 'Like that could be possible. I'm surprised at you, Ross, peddling such twaddle. Or are you funning?'

Ross drew in a breath, as if he was about to state loud and clear that of _course_ he wasfunning, but then he looked at Phoebe in an affectionate way and let it out again. 'Well, I was, actually,' he said mildly. 'Say, Pheebs, do you want to go and look at those fossils?'

'Oh, cool!' cried Phoebe. 'Lead me to them!' Both bade the others farewell and departed.

'So, how about you, Mon?' said Joey. 'How was your day?'

'Oh, so-so,' she said. 'The head chef seemed to be on my tail half the time. I'm beginning to feel that I don't like being pushed that much, but that's the way things are in big restaurants – it's pressure, pressure, pressure.'

Rachel shook her head. Here was Monica going strange again. Only the week before she had been deriding some of her co-workers for bitching about the pressure from the head chef, and saying that that was what it took to be a good chef, you had to be able to cope with pressure and to know how to apply it to your assistants.

'I feel like doing something really relaxing and stupid,' Monica continued. 'Say, Joey, do you know any games we can play, with a minimum of rules and no requirement for brain power?'

Joey grinned. 'I don't know any other kind. Come on upstairs, and we'll see what takes your fancy.'

Rachel went along with some misgivings, knowing how competitive Monica could be, but tonight she did not seem like that at all. When they played one of the boys' crazy ball games and she missed, she just laughed. When they played card games and she lost, she laughed again and derided her own lack of card sense. They spent a very pleasant evening, during which Chandler did not reappear. Evidently his 'date' with Aurora had turned into an extended encounter.

Rachel had also noticed that, in a quiet sort of way, Monica seemed to be coming on to Joey. When they finally returned to their own apartment, she commented on this.

'I suppose maybe I was,' said Monica. 'Don't you think he's much more attractive now he's not Mr. I'm So Sexy any more?'

'Can you really imagine dating _Joey_?' said Rachel. 'I mean, I love the guy, but he is a bit dumb.'

'I think he's very sweet,' said Monica a bit fiercely. 'You lay off poor Joey. He needs encouragement now.'

'Okay, Mon,' said Rachel hastily. 'If you want him, I'm certainly not going to compete, and I doubt if Phoebe would either. Isn't she getting smart all of a sudden?'

They turned to discussing Phoebe's rather strange behaviour by unspoken mutual consent.

-----

Meanwhile, Ross was finding Phoebe's sudden enthusiasm for fossils almost too much. She had been into all of his drawers and boxes, and he felt quite worn out with her questioning. Just as he was about to say that he was feeling tired, she looked at him closely.

'Oh Ross, I've tired you out!' she said remorsefully. 'I'll stop right here. I'm sorry, but I find this all, like, absolutely _enthralling_. I must find time tomorrow to drop by your museum and look at the exhibits.'

'Do that, and I'll show you round,' said Ross. 'Say, would you like to borrow one or two of my books? They can tell you everything I can, and probably much better.'

'Would I ever!' said Phoebe with maximum enthusiasm. She left with three books, looking as happy as a kid with a bagful of candy. They were in fact books for older children, which both had agreed would be the best place to start. Ross was delighted that one of his friends should finally begin to share his interests; in fact, talking to her, he found his own enthusiasm reviving. But he hoped the books would take some of the heat off himself.

As it turned out, Phoebe did not show up at the museum the next day, but she explained contritely to Ross, when they met that afternoon in Central Perk, that she had been up most of the night reading the books and had slept through the morning.

'I'll come tomorrow for sure,' she said. 'You know, those books got me so excited, I wrote a new song. I'll perform it tonight.'

'Way to go, Pheebs!' said Joey. 'You'll soon be as big a dinosaur freak as Ross.'

'Well, there are worse things to be,' said Phoebe rather sharply. 'Like a date freak, for instance.' She looked at him pointedly, but he shook his head.

'That's not me any more,' he said. 'Seems like I can't get a date to save my life. And you know what? Suddenly I'm not sure I want to, you know, just to have a date. I mean, it's like I'm feeling I have a duty to do it, but my heart's not in it. Maybe I'm ready for a real relationship.'

'You trying to give us heart attacks, Joe?' said Chandler, who had just come in and overheard.

'Ah, the date king!' said Monica. 'How did it go with Aurora, as if I didn't know! When did you get home?'

'Oh, about two in the morning,' said Chandler nonchalantly. 'But I caught up on my sleep at work.'

'And now you're going to romance Janice?' Monica pursued. 'What brought that on?'

'Well, she has her charms,' said Chandler. 'There's no denying it. And she thinks I'm in love with her anyway.'

'Didn't sound like she thought that when you rang her,' Joey observed.

'Oh, that was just her sounding off because I hadn't called her,' said Chandler. 'Seems she was expecting me to. Besides,' he grinned at Joey, 'if things don't work out, maybe she could at least give me Lorraine's phone number. Oh boy, was _she_ hot!'

The others, who knew about the Valentine's eve dinner party to which Joey had invited Lorraine, bringing Chandler to date a friend who turned out to be Janice, expected Joey to display outrage at this breaking of the rule that you did not date your friends' old flames. But he simply shrugged.

'Looks like Chandler's the date freak, Pheebs,' he said. 'But if you're aiming to go out with all my old girlfriends, Chandler, you'd better be prepared to do a lot of sleeping at work, except that you just can't do that, or they'll fire you and you won't have the money to take the girls out with.'

There was general laughter, in which Chandler joined. 'I don't think my ambitions run quite that far,' he said, 'but I'll bear your warning in mind, my friend.'

At that moment Janice arrived, looking perky. 'Hi, everybody!' she said. 'So, Chandler, we have something to talk about?'

'Sure,' said Chandler, getting up and putting an arm around her in a possessive way, 'let's go and grab a drink.' His confident air seemed to disconcert Janice slightly, but she went with him readily enough.

'What's gotten into Chandler?' said Ross. 'He seems to have finally nailed down the art of dealing with women.'

'Well, I hope you don't think that dating several of them simultaneously is "dealing with women",' said Phoebe slightly censoriously. 'I liked Chandler better before.'

They bickered on in a friendly way about man-woman relationships for a while, to be interrupted by Chandler's sudden return. He was looking a bit down in the mouth.

'So it didn't go well with Janice, huh?' said Joey slightly maliciously.

Chandler pulled a face. 'No,' he said. 'She wouldn't listen to any suggestion that she might tone herself down a bit. So …' He shrugged.

'So?' prompted Monica.

'So I had to break it off with her,' said Chandler. 'No sense in putting up with aggravation just for sex, when I can find women who won't provide any aggravation, like Aurora.'

'She'll be back,' said Joey gloomily.

'I don't think so,' said Chandler. 'She _really_ didn't like my comments on her voice and mannerisms, but what could I do? I had to tell her the truth.' He sighed. 'She had a lot of good points, really, but …'

'You were honest with her?' said Monica incredulously. 'Well, _that_ says something for you, I suppose. But did you really want to make it work, with her?'

'I figured it was worth a try,' said Chandler. 'Because we knew each other so well, you see.' He looked around, his eyes crinkling in a smile. 'Almost as well as I know you three, come to think of it.'

'Well, you won't get anywhere with me if you're going to expect to date half of New York as well, buster,' said Monica smartly.

'Yeah!' said Phoebe in emphatic agreement.

'Oh, I wouldn't do that,' said Chandler, looking a bit shocked. 'It's just that, while I'm _not_ committed to someone …'

'Huh,' said Rachel. 'It's so easy for guys. Nobody thinks the worse of you, but if one of us were to start dating several men at once, we'd sure catch it.'

Chandler spread his hands. 'Okay, maybe I have been giving off Joey-style vibes,' he said. 'It was just that … suddenly I seemed to have confidence with women, and I felt I had some catching up to do.You know what they say,' he winked at Rachel, 'None but the brave deserve the fair.'

Rachel looked away, but Monica noticed that she smiled a little.

'How about a bite to eat before Phoebe's set?' she said. 'I've got some cold cuts and stuff in the apartment.'

This met with general approval, and they quickly decamped. When they got in, Monica looked around, then sidled up to Rachel. 'Did you tidy up in here?' she muttered.

Rachel swallowed. 'Well, yeah, a bit. It's okay, isn't it?' She looked at Monica with a certain apprehension. 'I mean, I know you like things to be arranged in a very particular way, but I tried my hardest …'

Monica waved her hand. 'Don't worry about it,' she said. 'It's just … this is so not you.'

'What do you mean?' said Rachel, her brow wrinkling.

'I've gotten so used to you not doing anything much around here unless I nag and nag, and now …'

'Well, I'm sorry I've been like that,' said Rachel, frowning a little. 'Anyway, this _is_ okay, isn't it? I mean, if there's anything really wrong, tell me and I'll put it right.'

'Everything looks fine to me,' said Monica, 'and thanks very much for doing it. What does it matter if something's a little out of place, anyway?' She beamed at Rachel, who looked really startled for a moment, then beamed back.

-----

They returned to Central Perk with just a few minutes to spare before Phoebe was on. Although Rachel was off-shift, she not only cleared stuff from the table in front of the couch but stacked it neatly in the right place, waving away the thanks of the other waitress. Then she offered to bring the rest whatever they wanted. Again the others looked at each other in surprise at this unusual behaviour, but before they could comment on it Phoebe was announced.

'Hi,' she said. 'I've got a new song which reflects a great new interest of mine. I hope you'll all like it.'

After playing a few chords in a cheerful way, she began, with a twinkle in her eye:

'Did you ever wonder how Tyrannosaurus Rex … Had sex?'

and then had to pause, because not only her friends but the whole coffee shop cracked up. She looked at Ross slightly apprehensively, but he was laughing as loudly as any of them. When the laughter and applause died she went on,

'Or how an Iguanodon … Got it on?'

then she shot a sly glance at Rachel, 

'Was fashion ever "classic"… In the Jurassic,

And how did Triceratops … Do without shops?'

Rachel shrieked with laughter and clapped her hands together. 'Way to go, Pheebs!' she cried. Grinning, Phoebe continued,

'How d'you think a Deinonychus …Would strike us?

Do you think a Stegosaurus …Would bore us?

How would a Diplodocus …Get focus?

And what would a Velociraptor … Clap for?'

She struck a final chord. By this time Ross was practically helpless with laughter, and the others were not much better. There was louder applause than she had ever gained before, and she was practically forced to encore the song before moving on to others of her compositions.

When she took a break and went over to the others, Ross grabbed her hand and shook it warmly.

'Phoebe, you have _got_ to come and sing that at the museum,' he said. 'I absolutely insist. They'll love it.'

'That's even better than Smelly Cat,' said Rachel, and the others agreed.

'Thanks, you guys,' said Phoebe. 'I wish I could have come up with more rhymes, but so many of them are sauruses of various kinds, and there's no way you can rhyme some that aren't with _anything_, like pterodactyl.' She turned to Ross. 'They won't think it's, like, disrespectful, at the museum? Because I don't mean to be disrespectful. It's just, the first line came to me, and I _had_ to write it.'

'Pheebs, it's marvellous,' said Ross in complete sincerity. 'It's a sign of a bad scientist to take oneself too seriously.'

'Well, _there's_ a change,' commented Joey. 'Headline: Mr. Science in Amazing Reversal Maneuver.' Chandler looked at him in a way that suggested that he wished he'd come up with that.

'Oh, maybe I used to come on a little strong,' said Ross, 'but it seems to me, we should be ready to laugh at ourselves, just as we should admit that we don't know everything. A whole lot of what we give out is just the best available hypothesis at the moment, and one new piece of evidence might falsify it.'

There were several intakes of breath.

'Or there's stuff we just don't know, because we don't have the evidence,' said Phoebe confidently, 'like how come the dinosaurs got so big in the early Jurassic and spread all over.'

'Right, Pheebs,' said Ross, smiling at her warmly. 'You're a quick study.'

She smiled back at him in a shy sort of way, and seemed to blush slightly. 'Those books were great,' she said. 'But do you have anything more adult that is not, like, _impenetrably_ scientific?'

'Sure,' he said. 'Come round with me after you're done here.'

Monica and Rachel caught each other's eye, sharing a thought: was something developing between Ross and Phoebe?


	3. Curiouser and Curiouser

Chapter 3. Curiouser and Curiouser

'Come on, Mon,' called Rachel. 'The guys'll be here any minute.'

'What's the big rush?' called Monica from the bedroom. 'You can get the coffee on, can't you, with all your newfound skills?'

'Well, I can try,' said Rachel a little grumpily. She did not mind helping out, but here was Monica seeming to expect her to do everything. However, remembering all the times Monica had done everything, she admitted to herself that she owed her friend plenty of payback and that it would not be fair to nag her.

'Don't blame me if the coffee doesn't taste good, that's all,' she called.

'You'll be fine,' Monica replied. 'Okay, this is me getting up.' Rachel heard the bathroom door close.

A moment later Chandler and Joey came in. Joey was saying, 'That's all very well, Chandler, but girls generally resent it if you take them for granted. Even Aurora might do that. You should give her some sign that you appreciate her, ya know.'

'Okay, okay,' said Chandler a bit impatiently. His face brightened when he saw Rachel. 'Hi, Rachel, you making breakfast today?'

'Looks like it,' said Rachel. 'Mon seems to be taking things easy, all of a sudden.'

'Well, she has a right to,' said Joey. 'She's been working her ass off at the restaurant _and_ looking after us. Which comes back to what I was saying: we don't appreciate _her_ enough.'

'But she always seemed to like doing it,' Chandler protested mildly.

'That doesn't mean we shouldn't show our appreciation,' said Joey firmly.

' You've become very moral all of a sudden, ' said Chandler. 'So, you're making the coffee, Rach?' There was a distinct uneasiness in his tone.

'Yup,' said Rachel. 'Don't worry, I know what I'm doing – I think.'

A little later she poured some coffee out for them. Chandler looked at his suspiciously.

'What's your problem?' said Joey. 'It's the right colour, and we know she hasn't sneezed in it because we've been right here.'

Rachel giggled. 'Oh, I would never do that, even in Central Perk.'

'Only because you'd do something else,' said Joey, grinning at her. 'I've heard what goes on behind the scenes.'

'But I've got no motive to do anything like that to Chandler,' Rachel protested. 'How is it?' she asked anxiously, as Chandler took a sip.

'I'd say, not bad,' said Chandler, smiling at her. 'In fact, as cups of coffee go, tremendously … not bad.'

'You stole that from Love Story!' she said, giggling again. 'I'd never have thought you'd watch such a romantic film.'

'Oh, I have my moments,' he said, keeping his eyes on hers. 'Sometimes I'm absolutely in the mood for romance.'

Suddenly his voice sounded serious. Rachel gave a little gasp and turned away, feeling suddenly flustered. Was Chandler really trying to start something?

At that moment Monica appeared, looking very relaxed. 'Hi guys!' she said. 'How's the coffee?'

'The coffee's fine,' said Joey. 'Hasn't quite got that Monica zip to it, of course.'

Monica poured herself a cup and tasted it. 'Doesn't seem any different from my own brew, to me,' she commented.

'Well, maybe it's just … anything _you_ make seems to have that extra bit of flavour,' said Joey, grinning at her. She looked back at him, wondering if he was actually coming on to her. At first he held her gaze, still grinning; then he suddenly seemed to go shy and dropped his eyes.

'So who's doing what today?' she said briskly.

'Well, I'm on in the coffee shop for a full shift from opening time,' said Rachel.

'I've got nothing on,' said Joey gloomily. 'Maybe I should go visit my agent again. She's not getting me the parts.' 

'I have a thrilling day of data processing ahead of me,' said Chandler. 'I wish I could think of something else to do,' he added dolefully.

'If it's so bad, why do you stick at it?' asked Rachel.

Chandler shrugged. 'You know as well as I do, Rach. Isn't it why you go on waitressing? The money.'

'Well, actually, I'm beginning to get into my job,' said Rachel. 'And that reminds me. Mon, could you spare some time to teach me a bit about cooking?'

They all looked at her in amazement. 'You actually want to learn to cook?' said Monica.

'Sure,' said Rachel. 'Is that so surprising? After all, if I get married and have children, as I want to do, it will be something I ought to know, at least at an everyday level.'

'Well, that's great, sweetie,' said Monica. 'Let's set a time for after you get off shift and have had some rest. I'll be back from the restaurant by then.'

'But won't you be tired?' said Rachel solicitously.

'Just have some coffee waiting, and I'll be fine,' said Monica, thinking to herself that she was really appreciating this new Rachel.

'So my coffee's actually okay, huh?' said Rachel.

'A little less water, perhaps,' said Monica, smiling at her, 'but I have drunk a lot worse, Rach, believe me.' The others agreed, and Rachel looked pleased.

-----

'Hey, Joey, what's your problem?' said Estelle, his agent. 'You don't look so good.'

'I don't feel so good, Estelle,' said Joey. 'It's not just the lack of work, which is why I'm here. My love life has gone to hell.'

She looked at him closely. 'Say, there's something different about you. I think I like it. Sensitive, moody – Joey, if you can keep this up, I can put you in for all _kinds_ of parts where you wouldn't have stood a chance, when you looked kind of happy and confident. Here, take a look at yourself.' She handed him a small mirror.

Joey studied his reflection. There was no doubt about it, he did look different, rather intense and brooding.

'It's not like I'm trying to do something specially,' he protested.

'So, just look at me,' she commanded. When he did so, she nodded. 'Somehow, your natural expression has changed. Oh boy, it's the "melancholy Dane" all right, or maybe the young Brando, or James Dean. Okay, Joey, sit tight, I'm gonna do some telephoning.'

Joey sat tight, almost suffocated by cigarette smoke and deafened by the flow of words, but when he came out he was happy: he had dates for three auditions, two for films and one a long-running drama series. Checking in a store window, he found that his sense of elation did not seem to affect his natural expression. 'Sensitive, huh?' he said, and grinned to himself. That did make him look rather as he used to do, but when he relaxed his mouth, his expression returned to the brooding look.

'Yeah, baby!' he muttered. 'I'm gonna knock 'em dead!'

-----

Phoebe was in full flow at the museum. Having sung her song to a very appreciative audience, she was explaining how she had come to write it, and expanding enthusiastically on her feelings about her new interest. Ross watched her indulgently. He had feared that his colleagues, while they would surely like the song, might find Phoebe a little too offbeat and weird. But not only was that side of her barely in evidence, her blazing enthusiasm seemed to communicate itself to them readily. Even his boss, Dr. Ledbetter, who might have been expected to take exception to her rather "street" manner of expressing herself, was taking a close interest.

'Miss Buffay,' he said when she paused for a moment, 'how long have you been interested in palaeontology?'

'Oh, not very long,' said Phoebe, 'but it's like I've been waiting my whole life for something like this.'

'She's a very quick study, Donald,' said Ross, 'especially for someone who never got the chance of a college education.'

'H'm,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'Ross, could I speak to you in private for a second?' When they stood aside, he asked, 'Does Miss Buffay have a job?'

'She works part-time as a masseuse, and sings in our local coffee shop some nights,' said Ross, 'but she has no permanent position.'

'I'm thinking, she would make a great addition to our corps of guides, especially for children's tours,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'She might give good talks, too. I've seldom encountered anyone better able to communicate her love of the subject at a level that most people can relate to. Do you think she'd be interested?'

'I think she very well might be,' said Ross.

Phoebe's reaction to being offered a job, even though it would only be part-time, was little short of ecstatic. She burst into happy tears, then hugged and kissed Dr. Ledbetter, to his rather embarrassed pleasure. 'I can't think of anything I'd like to do more,' she said. 'Just tell me when you want me and what you want. I'm sure Ross will help me out, won't you, Ross?'

'Of course,' said Ross. 'Glad to help in any way I can. Now, do you want to see around the museum?'

'Great,' said Phoebe, 'but don't let me keep you from your work.'

'Don't worry about it,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'Introducing you to the museum can be Ross's work for the day, and when that's done you can take off, Ross, as a reward for turning up this addition to our team  – that is, unless there's anything really urgent you should be doing?'

Ross could truthfully say that nothing in his In tray was all that urgent, and so Dr. Ledbetter waved them off with a benevolent smile.

'I think he likes you,' said Ross. 'Pheebs, it's going to be great having you work here.'

'It's going to be great working with _you_,' said Phoebe. 'Oh Ross, this is all thanks to you,' and she suddenly gave him a hug and a hearty kiss on the cheek. For a moment they looked at each other seriously; then Phoebe smiled, let go of him, and turned away, seeming a little embarrassed. Ross was struck by the feeling that, all along, he had been underestimating Phoebe. Apart from being very attractive and lively, she had a good brain, which, the way he saw it, she had only just begun to put to use. Somehow, beautiful though she was, Rachel just did not have the same attraction for him. Maybe it was because she was wholly uninterested in anything intellectual, while Phoebe, for all the weird theories that she espoused, at least thought about things other than fashion and dates. All of a sudden he remembered the time when she had tried to comfort him, just after he had discovered that Carol was having a lesbian affair. Then they had kissed seriously, and might have gone even further if they had not been thrown by the difficulties of making love on a pool table. He had never been that close to Phoebe since, and he did not know how she felt about him, really, but he was beginning to feel that it would be worth finding out.

-----

'Joey, this is so much _fun_!' said Monica, her eyes sparkling. When she had got back from the restaurant, she had arrived at the same time as Joey, who wanted to do something to celebrate getting his auditions. She had willingly allowed herself to be enticed away from the apartment, since Rachel was still not in, and into playing silly games, which she found that she enjoyed even more than the first time. Joey's sense of fun was completely infectious. In fact, she was beginning to find him more and more attractive, now that he was no longer so impressed with himself as God's gift to women.

For his part, Joey was also finding the new laid-back Monica _extremely _attractive. He had never seen her as relaxed as this before, but it suited her. Her killer smile, ready laugh and general output of happy feelings were doing strange things to him. Was he really falling for her? He had a feeling that he might like to.

'Say, Mon,' he said, 'why don't we take a break and go have a drink in your place? It's so much nicer than here.'

She winked at him. 'In the mood for some lemonade?'

'Aw, are you still hung up on that?' he said, chagrined. 'I'm not like that any more.'

'Is that so?' she said, and giggled. 'That's a pity.' She flashed him a wicked glance, then led the way to her apartment. He followed, feeling suddenly excited. Did he dare take her seriously, as he would have done without a thought when they had first met? But any thought of following this up disappeared when they found Rachel in the apartment, plumping up cushions.

'Geez, Rachel, _relax_!' said Monica. 'Everything looks okay.'

Rachel put her hands on her hips and looked ready to dispute this for a moment. Then she looked around. 'Yeah, I guess it does, at that. Sorry I'm late, but Gunther asked me to cover for a while because another waitress hadn't got in. Turned out she was delayed on the subway. So, shall I make coffee?'

'I'd prefer something cold,' said Joey.

'So would I,' said Monica. 'We've been playing games, and some were quite active.'

'Playing games, huh? Active games, huh?' said Rachel insinuatingly, and giggled. 'Well, whatever you were really doing, it certainly agrees with you: you have a good colour.' She went to the fridge and got out some Snapples. 'So, how was your day, before the games?'

Joey excitedly told her about his auditions and what his agent had said.

'Isn't that great?' said Monica enthusiastically when he had finished. 'Our Joey may finally be on his way to the top.' She tousled his hair playfully. He gave her one of his best grins in response. She started dramatically and put her hand on her heart.

'Oh Joey, don't _do_ that!' she protested. 'It makes me want to …' She stopped, blushing.

'To what, Mon?' he asked, his voice serious.

She looked at Rachel, who was observing them with great interest, then whispered in his ear '… to kiss you.'

He looked at her, startled. 'Really?'

She nodded, her eyes meeting his with an intent expression. An expression of delight appeared on his face. 'Oh wow!' he said, but before he could get any further, the phone rang.

Looking rather irritated, Monica picked it up. 'Monica Geller speaking … oh, hi mom! … Oh, fine, you know.' Her expression changed to a resigned look. 'No, not just at the moment, but … look, it's not something I want to discuss in front of my friends … well, sure, why wouldn't they be here? … Rachel and Joey … Mom, I'm not interested in making new friends, and least of all because … ' She paused for a while, evidently letting her mother run on, rolling her eyes and sighing increasingly loudly.

'What was that?' she said eventually. 'Yes, I sighed … you want to know why? …You really want to? Okay, mom, here goes, and it would help if you didn't interrupt.' She looked at the others, whose attention was now riveted on her, and grinned a little, then took a deep breath. 'I was sighing because I was wishing that just _once_ you would ring me up to pass on some family news or simply chat or something and _not_ get on my case, going on and _on_ about my not being married and my life not going anywhere and favouring me with your interpretation of the reasons, which either tells me stuff I already know or concerns things on which our tastes differ – and there is absolutely _no_ reason why I should have to give your tastes preference over mine.'

She took another breath and said emphatically, her voice rising, 'Mom, I'm not _done_! I've had to listen to you all these years; it's time you listened to me. I'm all grown up, Mom, and you really are going to have to accept that I have a right to make my own decisions. When I want your advice, I'll ask for it, okay? Remember what you were saying to me about Nana at her funeral? Do you want me saying something like that to _my_ daughter at _your_ funeral? If not, then _lay off_. I'll find it so much easier to love you. Bye, mom.'

She closed the connection and looked at Rachel and Joey, who were open-mouthed. 'I finally did it,' she said, with a degree of triumph in her voice.

'Wow, Mon!' Rachel breathed. 'I didn't know you had it in you. I've ben wanting you to stand up to your mom for the longest time.'

'Yeah, way to go, Mon,' said Joey.

Monica smiled broadly. 'Ooh, I feel _so _much better.' She looked at the phone. 'Funny – I was expecting her to ring back. I hope she hasn't had a heart attack.' She didn't sound very concerned.

'Your mom is _tough_,' said Rachel. 'If she could survive Ross and Carol breaking up, she's not going to drop dead just because you finally find the nerve to talk back to her.'

Monica giggled. 'Oh, I feel so great.' She actually danced around the room for a moment. 'You know what would make me feel even greater?' She looked at Joey. 'A kiss from you.'

Joey felt an intense wave of happiness. She _did_ mean it. He walked across, took her in his arms confidently and gave her his best "tender" kiss, with just a little sexiness. She responded so eagerly that he found himself becoming aroused and drew back, feeling embarrassed.

'Would … would you go out on a date with me, Monica?' he said rather hoarsely.

'Sure, Joey,' she said at once. 'I'm so glad you asked.' She threw her arms round his neck and hugged him.

'_Well_!' said Rachel, who had been watching them with an indulgent smile.  'Am I in the presence of the real thing?'

Joey and Monica did not reply at once, but just looked at each other. Joey took Monica's hand.

'I'd like to think so,' he said softly. 'Shall we see, Mon?'

She nodded. 'It's a pity we didn't get into this before Mom rang.'

'But if you had, you wouldn't have had a reason to give it to her the way you did,' said Rachel.

'And she might really have had a heart attack, at hearing that you were dating an unemployed actor,' said Joey.

'An actor who may soon find work worthy of his talents,' said Monica, hugging him again. They gazed into each other's eyes lovingly.

'Ahem,' said Rachel pointedly. 'Talking of talents, what about my cookery class?'


	4. Some Of The News Is Good

Chapter 4: Some Of The News Is Good

Monica came storming into Central Perk, looking rather mad.

'What's up, honey?' said Rachel, going over to her. 'Get you something?'

'I'm _fed up_ with working for other people!' said Monica viciously. 'I want a place of my own, where if anyone does any hassling, it'll be me! Not that I would hassle people if I felt they had done as good a job as they could. This pretence that there is _always_ a level beyond what you have achieved, that nothing is ever _quite_ as good as it could be, really sucks!' She glowered into the distance, then said in a milder voice, 'Yeah, I'll have a large decaff, please, Rach.'

Rachel hurried to get it for her, and brought a piece of cake as well. 'That's for all the cooking lessons,' she said when Monica raised an eyebrow. 'Plus, you should eat a bit more, Mon. There _is_ such a thing as being too thin, no matter what that Trump woman said.'

Monica grinned. 'Yeah, Joey says things like that to me too.'

'How's that going?' said Rachel casually.

Monica's grin turned into a soft smile. 'Great,' she said. 'The only problem is, it's changed his face back to more like his old happy one. But though he didn't get the film roles, he's still in with a good chance for Days Of Our Lives. Can you believe it?'

'That's great,' said Rachel. 'I believe those big soaps pay really well. We'll have to watch it if he gets in.'

Somewhat to their surprise, Chandler came in at that moment, though it was well before his usual time for leaving work.

'Why so early?' said Rachel. 'Wait: if it needs a long explanation, I'll get what you want first.'

'Double espresso, please,' said Chandler, then, when Rachel had gone to the counter, 'How did she guess that it needed a long explanation?'

'Rachel's getting much better at spotting what's going on with other people,' said Monica. 'And far be it from me to put ideas into your head, Chandler, but I suspect she may fancy you a little bit.'

'Do you really think so?' he said eagerly. 'She's so _hot_!'

'Um … I wouldn't approach her like that,' Monica warned him. 'I think she has more in mind than casual sex.'

Rachel came back with the coffee and another piece of cake. 'This is for you, Chandler,' she said. 'I made it myself, in a slack period this morning.'

'You made this cake?' said Monica in surprise. 'Why, it's good, Rach! Could maybe use a _little_ more lemon – but good! Why didn't you tell me?'

Rachel looked a bit bashful, though also very pleased. 'I was a bit nervous of what you might say,' she said. 'I just did what you told me, but it worked out pretty well. Gunther liked his piece too.'

'Gunther would like anything you did,' said Chandler sharply. 'That man has a crush on you the size of the Empire State.'

Rachel sighed. 'Yeah, I'm beginning to realise that,' she said. 'But I couldn't be interested in him. He's just too … flaky.'

For some reason this seemed to put Chandler in a much better mood. 'Okay, you want to know why I'm out at this hour?' he said. 'Well … I've quit! My boss wanted to promote me to processing supervisor, and I quit! I've _had it_ with data processing.'

'Oh Chandler, that's so brave of you!' said Rachel admiringly. 'I used to think of quitting, but I didn't have the nerve, and now I don't want to, because I'm beginning to enjoy the job – you know, interacting with other people and all that. Plus, I know what I'm doing more, and I think they've noticed: I've been promised a raise next month. But what will you do?'

'I don't know,' said Chandler. 'I can't think of what I want to do, but I _can_ think of what I _don't_ want to do, which is data processing. I've got some savings now, despite all that Joey can do to spend my money, so there's no great rush to find another job. I just wish I could think of something that I want to do.'

Rachel came round to the back of the couch and leaned over to give him a hug. 'I'm sure you'll find something,' she said. 'You're so smart. Someone ought to want to employ you to do something.'

'With any luck, Joey should be able to start paying back what he owes you soon,' said Monica. 'He has a good chance at a big part in Days Of Our Lives. If it's any consolation, I'm fed up with my job too, though I haven't quit. But I want to be my own boss in my own restaurant.'

'Well, I'll have to leave you guys to talk it over,' said Rachel. 'Duty calls.'

She walked over to some new customers. Chandler watched her departing with complete approval: it was one of her short skirt days. He wondered if he should make a move. Rachel seemed to be acting increasingly affectionately towards him, and he was definitely tempted. Her growing satisfaction with her job seemed to be bringing out the basic sweetness in her nature. The problem was, he did not want to cut in on Ross, who had a heavy crush on Rachel, or so it had seemed; it was not so clear that that this was the case now. He decided to ask Monica.

'Mon, do you think Ross still has a thing about Rachel?' he said in a low voice.

Monica looked at him. 'Are you getting interested in her, really?'

Chandler looked at the ceiling. "Be _honest_," he told himself. "Don't be afraid to reveal your feelings. People appreciate it. Think how it has made your life easier. You have been able to finish it properly with Janice. You have been able to get dates that you never thought you could." His gaze returned to Monica, who was looking at him with interest. He took a deep breath.

'Yes,' he said, and then blew out most of the breath. 'There, that wasn't so hard,' he told himself aloud.

Monica grinned. 'Well, as I said, I think she's a bit interested in you. As for Ross, we have been wondering if he's getting interested in Phoebe.'

'Oh my gosh!' said Chandler excitedly. 'If that's so, it would give me a clear run, now that Paolo's out of the picture.'

'But I think she's ready for a proper relationship,' said Monica. 'She had her fling with Paolo. Don't hurt her, Chandler. She took the Paolo thing quite hard.'

Chandler looked at Rachel, bustling about cheerfully, and wondered how anyone could want to cheat on her. He found himself wanting to bust Paolo one on the nose.

'You're looking very grim,' said Monica. 'What's up?'

'Oh, just a hankering to hit Paolo,' said Chandler.

'We should team up,' said Monica. 'You hit him high and I'll hit him low. But he's not been seen around much. So, you feel protective about Rachel?'

Chandler thought. 'Yeah, I guess I do,' he said. 'She's got such a sweet face. How could anyone hurt her?'

'She's really improved,' said Monica. 'I think some guy's going to be very lucky. It would be nice if it were you. You've improved, too.'

'Well, you're another,' Chandler riposted. 'You actually let me put a glass on the table without a coaster yesterday, and didn't yell at me. It was Rachel who slipped one under it.'

Monica waved a hand. 'I don't understand it, precisely, but … those things just don't seem to bother me so much any more. I mean, I haven't turned into a slob, but they don't seem so important.'

'You seem to be doing some work on Joey, though,' said Chandler. 'He's stopped doing things that even I noticed. I appreciate it.'

Monica's face went dreamy at the mention of Joey. 'He's very biddable, really,' she said. 'It's just … so often it doesn't occur to him why people make a fuss about things. He only needs telling once, usually. He's willing to learn about nutrition, too, and how he can have great meals that aren't full of fattening stuff and gunk additives.'

They happily discussed the changes in their friends for a while, until Rachel came over with her bag, having got off shift.

'You wanna go shopping, Mon?' she said.

'What did you have in mind?' said Monica, grinning at her.

'Oh, I think I've got enough clothes and shoes for now,' said Rachel casually. 'I just wondered if _you_ wanted to look for something.'

Chandler slumped on the couch. 'Quick, bring me brandy to revive me,' he said. 'Rachel not wanting to shop? Sensation in court. The world will never be the same.'

Rachel leaned over, and struck him a very light tap over his heart. 'There, that should revive you.'

Chandler sat up, hand to where she had tapped him. 'That's funny, it's made my heart go boom-bitty-boom,' he said, joking to cover up the feeling that he got from having her touch him in a way that seemed much more intimate than the hugs that they all exchanged with each other.

Rachel giggled delightfully. 'You're quoting again,' she cried. 'From that film that we watched in the Peter Sellers retrospective a month ago.'

'The Millionairess,' said Chandler. 'Yup, guilty. But,' he tried to give her a significant look, 'there's many a true word spoken in jest.'

She looked back at him seriously, but just as she was about to say something Joey came tearing in.

'I did it! I did it!' he cried. 'And if your grin means you're going to ask if I got a date for you with Pamela Anderson, Chandler, the answer is no.' Off Chandler's look of fake chagrin, he added, 'Nor with Yasmine Bleeth, either.' Chandler pretended to burst into tears, to general amusement.

'No,' said Joey triumphantly, bringing their attention back to him, 'I landed the part in Days Of Our Lives!'

Monica and Rachel immediately shrieked and went to hug him, while Chandler came round the couch and clapped him heartily on the shoulder. 'Well done, man!' he said. 'We knew you could do it. Just don't let it go to your head. Remember, you bring the writers' words to life, but they write them in the first place.'

Joey nodded. 'That sounds like good sense. Yeah, if it weren't for the writers there wouldn't be a show. Come to think of it, if it weren't for writers there wouldn't be _anything_ for actors to do except improvise or mime, and that's too much like hard work. Of course, some get to run around in swimsuits, but I'm not sure I have the figure for that.'

They laughed. It was nice to hear Joey making jokes.

'Two Baywatch jokes is enough for one evening,' said Chandler. 'Well, I think this calls for a celebration. Why don't we go out to eat somewhere nice?'

'We'd better wait for Ross and Phoebe,' said Rachel. 'They'll want to join in any celebration.'

'Yeah, Ross,' said Chandler slightly discontentedly. 'Okay, but can we at least go somewhere that we can get a drink? I've had enough coffee for now. We can ask Gunther to let them know where we've gone.'

'We've got beers in the fridge,' said Monica, 'enough for one each, anyway. Let's go back to the apartment.' All agreed, and after asking Gunther to send on Ross and Phoebe if they showed up, they departed.

-----

It was some time later that Ross and Phoebe showed up at the apartment. Both were grinning, and Phoebe was saying, 'And this cute little kid said, "You mean there weren't dinosaurs around at the time of the Romans?" He was real upset when I told him they weren't even around at the time of the first hominids.' She and Ross chuckled.

'It's that film A Million Years BC,' said Ross. 'Anyone could be forgiven for being a bit confused after that.'

'Yeah,' said Phoebe indignantly, 'and that wasn't even Homo Erectus, it was Sapiens, except that they weren't like, very Sapiens because they couldn't talk and the men acted like real jerks. Of course, a lot of men are still like that.'

Ross burst out laughing, and Phoebe rested a hand on his shoulder and laughed with him. They turned to notice the others all staring at them.

'You've really gotten into this, haven't you?' said Chandler. 'You've got the past all sorted out. No more aliens planting fossils in your world view now.'

Phoebe wrinkled her nose. 'Oh, I was so _silly_,' she said. 'I didn't understand how geology worked, or science, or _anything_. Of course, there's a lot we don't know still, but at least we know, like, what came after what in geological terms. It's so amazing to think of all those ages of the past, and all the strange creatures that lived in them, preserved for us in the very rocks that we see and can even walk around on!' She continued in this vein, painting more and more vivid word pictures, while her friends listened to her open-mouthed. Ross noticed how interestd they seemed to be. He felt a tiny twinge of jealousy: he had never been able to engage their interest like that. But most of what he felt was pride, that Phoebe his friend should have become so knowledgeable so quickly, and should be so good at putting the knowledge across.

'Hey,' said Phoebe suddenly, 'you guys really ought to stop me when I'm rambling on like this. I must be boring the pants off you.'

'Oh no, Phoebe,' said Rachel. 'It's … it's fascinating. You make it sound so real.'

'Well, it _was_ real,' said Phoebe.

'Yeah, but …' Rachel waved her hands, unable to find the words to express what she was thinking. 'I mean, it's like you were one of those really good TV presenters, you know.' The others made agreeing comments.

'Yeah,' said Joey, 'you should write books or something, Pheebs. You can really put it across.'

'I never got taught to write good English,' said Phoebe rather defensively.

'No, but I did,' said Ross suddenly, 'and I can write good scientific papers, but what I can't do is put it across like you, in an exciting way. What say we collaborate, you and I? The museum could use some new guide books; the ones we have are terribly old-fashioned as well as being out of date. There has to be a way to get your enthusiasm onto paper.'

Phoebe looked at him, her expression almost painfully serious. 'You really think I could do that?' she said in a slightly choked voice.'You, a scholar, would be prepared to work with me, who's just an amateur, on guidebooks for kids and stuff?'

Ross nodded. 'You've got what it takes,' he said with conviction. 'You've revived my love of the subject and re-inspired me. And this would be important work: if we can't explain what we're doing to the public in a way that interests and involves them, what good are we? I'd be _honoured_ if you'd collaborate with me, Phoebe.'

'Oh Ross,' said Phoebe, tears beginning to form in her eyes, while their friends watched, hardly daring to breathe for fear of interrupting what was evidently a moment of great significance for both Ross and Phoebe. 'You can't know what it means to me to hear you, a published scholar, say that,' she said, almost breaking down. 'I mean, I'm just a dumb girl who lived on the streets …' She sobbed, and the tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Ross stepped forward, took hold of her firmly, and kissed her on the lips. 'You're not dumb,' he said tenderly. 'You're _smart_, and you're cute, and you've been here all the time, and how can I have been so blind?' 

Phoebe hugged him and kissed him back eagerly, while all four of their friends sighed at the romance of it. But they might not have been there, for all the notice that Ross and Phoebe took of them.

'Do you remember the last time we kissed seriously?' said Ross.

'Oh, Ross, sometimes I _dream _about it,' said Phoebe. She lowered her voice. 'And, you know, we, like, do a lot better in the dream than we did then.'

[A.N.: check The One With the Flashback, Series 3: 6, if you don't know what this refers to]

Ross smiled. The mere thought that Phoebe could be in love with him was almost overwhelming. 'We're awake now, even though this seems like a dream.' He tightened his embrace, and so did she.

Monica cleared her throat. 'Um, this is all very touching and romantic, but maybe you could keep the rest for later? Though this does give us something else to celebrate.'

The two looked as if they had suddenly woken up. 'Gee, yeah,' said Ross. 'Gunther said something about good news.'

'I got the part in Days Of Our Lives,' said Joey proudly. 'So the guy who's dating your sister is not a total loser.'

'I would never have thought that, Joey,' said Ross, 'but I'm very happy for you.'

'Not as happy as we are for you two,' said Monica, going across to hug both Ross and Phoebe, followed by the others. 'Mind, Rachel and I thought we saw it coming.'

Amid a hubbub of kisses and congratulations, Chandler observed Rachel. She did not seem at all unhappy that Ross and Phoebe were in love, rather the opposite: she was effervescent with glee. He wondered, now that the other four had paired off, whether she would feel pressured if he made a move, and decided to leave it for tonight, anyway. Tonight would be just fun. 


	5. Unexpected Developments

Chapter 5: Unexpected Developments

Sorry about delay on this; for reasons that I won't bother you with, I have not exactly been in the mood. Responding to 25% of my reviewers, I am not going to end it in this chapter after all. There is scope for further complications, and it is getting a bit more serious.

'I'm beginning to get mad at Chandler,' said Rachel to Monica in the apartment. 'I thought he was interested in me …'

'He _is_,' Monica interrupted. 'He admitted as much to me.'

'Well, why doesn't he _do_ something?' Rachel said rather fiercely. ' I thought I'd given him enough encouragement, and he's confident enough with other women. Joey was complaining only yesterday about his dates, you remember.'

'Joey's in no position to complain,' said Monica, grinning, 'after the number of women he's had in there. So, you'd like Chandler to ask you out, huh?'

'Well, yeah,' said Rachel. 'I'm not in _love_ with him, but I like him a lot. I want to see what the new Chandler is like on a date, and,' – she made one of her characteristic little throat-clearing noises – 'I've got to admit, I'm curious about him.'

'So is it mainly about sex, after all?' said Monica a bit disapprovingly.

'No, it's not,' said Rachel. 'I don't know _what_ it's about, to tell the truth. It's just … I thought we were going somewhere, and now we're not, as far as I can see. I hope he's not expecting me to fall into his arms just because the rest of you have paired off,' she added with a flash of temper.

'Sweetie, I'm sure he doesn't expect that,' said Monica soothingly.

'Well, I'd like to know what he _does_ expect,' said Rachel grumpily. Suddenly she jumped to her feet. 'Let's go and do some laundry,' she said energetically.

'Do we _have_ to?' Monica moaned. 'It's nice just sitting around and talking.'

'Yes, we do,' said Rachel with some force. 'If I want to take my mind off of things, I like to be active, and I happen to know you've got a whole lot of laundry backed up. What's gotten into you, Monica? You used to be hot on this.'

'It just doesn't seem so … urgent now,' said Monica, smiling, 'but, okay, I'm with you, it's gotta be done.' Making a big production of it, which caused Rachel to giggle, she got to her feet.

'After that,' said Rachel, 'maybe you can give me another cookery lesson.'

Monica groaned. 'No rest for the wicked, they say – but what did _I _do?'

-----

Chandler walked the streets, trying to decide what he wanted to do for a job, and also what he wanted to about Rachel. Rachel had a lot of things going for her: she was beautiful, sympathetic, had a lively sense of fun, and had recently been developing her domestic side quite spectacularly; the spoilt little rich girl image had effectively disappeared. But after all, was he really interested enough to date her seriously, now that he was having such success with women? In the past month he had made love with more women than in the previous eight years, and he had to admit, he was really enjoying it. Did he want to give all that up? She would surely expect him to stop dating like that if he was with her, and he certainly wasn't going to try dating other women in secret. That would be a recipe for disaster, and probably too tiring as well.

His thoughts were interrupted by a well-known voice calling his name. He looked up, to see Janice waving from a block away and then hurrying towards him. Once he would have cringed, and maybe tried to escape. Now he felt confident in his ability to handle her, and decided he owed it to her to see what she wanted.

She arrived, panting. 'Chandler, you're looking _great_!' she said enthusiastically, beaming at him.

'What can I do for you, Janice?' he said calmly. He had to admit that she was looking great too, but then that had always been the problem: she looked great, but her speech and behaviour were extremely irritating.

'Look, I know I said a lot of things when we parted,' she said, looking rather embarrassed, 'but I've been thinking it all over, what you said. I … I can't get you out of my head. None of the guys I meet matches up to you. If … if I _really_ tried, _really_ made an effort … would you consider getting back with me?'

She looked at him pleadingly; he was alarmed to see tears in her eyes. He realised that he had never seen her cry, even on the times when he had broken up with her. It affected him powerfully.

'Don't cry, Janice,' he said. 'I hate to see you cry.'

She shook her head. 'I can't help it,' she said, with a little sob. 'Chandler, I love you so much. I _promise_ I'll try to change. I _am_ trying, right this minute.'

Indeed, this unaffected way of talking was very unlike her, and he could not remember her ever saying that she loved him, just like that, except … yes, in the height of passion she had sometimes said that. All the good memories came rushing back, all that they had done and shared. There was no doubt about it, he was not over her. As she gazed at him with wide eyes and trembling lip, one tear running down her cheek, he knew that there was only one thing he could do. He held his arms open, smiling. She almost threw herself into them and began to cry in earnest, while he murmured soothing nothings to her and finally, when she seemed to be calming down, produced a handkerchief. She took it and wiped her eyes, then smiled at him.

'Thanks for giving me another chance, Chandler,' she said. 'Say, could we get a cup of coffee or something? I'm feeling that my tissues need restoring.' This was the kind of thing that she had used to say, but now she said it without any overacted emphasis.

'There's a place offering coffee over there,' he said.

There was no one else in the place, and they were greeted effusively by the man behind the counter, a short, rather stout man with black hair and moustache, who looked to be from somewhere in the east Mediterranean.

'Welcome, welcome,' he cried. 'My firs' customers since rush hour. What I get for you? 'ere is special Greek coffee.'

'Greek, huh?' said Chandler. 'Is that anything like espresso?'

'Is something like,' said the man. 'You 'ave _skheto_, no sugar, or _metrio_, some sugar, or _varyglykò_, lots of sugar.'

'I'll try sketto,' said Chandler. 'How about you, Janice?'

'I'd like something bigger,' said Janice. 'Can I get a big coffee with some milk, and do you have any of that Greek sweet, balaklava or whatever?'

'Ah, _baklavà_,' the man said, beaming. 'My wife make. I get, and also one _skheto_, one big coffee with milk, what we call_ nes_. Okay, you wait few minutes only.' He bustled off into a back room, from which a torrent of Greek was shortly heard.

They looked around. 'This looks like it's really set up to be a restaurant,' said Janice.

Chanlder felt the germ of an idea develop in his mind, but he realised that Janice was in a rather emotional state. 'You're looking good, Janice,' he said, giving her his best smile and patting her hand.

'Thank you, Chandler,' she said softly, and looked down at the table. Then she seemed to brighten up. 'So how come you're walking the streets in the middle of the morning, Mr. Bing?'

'I quit my job,' he said. 'I couldn't take it any more. I was walking around thinking what I'd like to do.' And thinking about Rachel, his conscience reminded him, but he knew that under no circumstances could he mention that to Janice, especially not at that moment.

'Well, it was sure lucky for me,' she said. 'But can you afford to be without a job for long? That apartment must cost, and I don't suppose Joey contributes much.'

'Ah, but he's landed a part in Days Of Our Lives,' said Chandler. 'He'll be making good money soon.'

'No!' said Janice, intrigued. 'Things always seem to be happening to you guys. So what else is new?'

Chandler was in the middle of bringing her up to date when the Greek man came back, with a tray on which were one large and two small cups, three glasses of water, and a glass plate with a large slice of pastry that was oozing honey.

'You do not mind, if I sit with you?' he said. 'Is time for my coffee too.'

'Please,' said Chandler, indicating a chair, and introduced them. The man beamed again.

'Tsandlair and Dzanis,' he said. 'Is strange names, but then to me many names are strange here. I am Costas Papadhópoulos. I come 'ere not so long ago to be _kafezēs_, what you say, to run coffee shop. But what do I know? At this time in Athens, the office workers, they go out for coffee, or they send for coffee. 'Ere, is coffee machines in office. So,' he shrugged, 'I not making much money.'

'That's too bad,' said Janice. 'This is absolutely _delicious_. Here, Chandler, try some.' She held out a piece on a fork, and Chandler took it. It was indeed delicious, sweet but not cloyingly so, and much lighter than it looked, but very satisfying.

Costas smiled. 'You are lovers?'

Janice looked at Chandler, who grinned. 'Yes,' he said, 'we've known each other a long time.' It was worth saying that just to see Janice's face, which positively glowed with love. He could not help thinking how much she had indeed changed. Once she would have jumped in, instead of letting him take the lead.

'That is good,' said Costas. 'Everywhere, love is good. I love my wife Eléni, but she is not 'appy 'ere. She want to go back to Athens. Maybe I will do, but I pay lease for this place, long time to go yet.'

'Mm,' said Chandler. 'Say, Costas, is this place set up so you could run a restaurant here?'

Costas nodded vigorously. 'Sometimes I think, I will make into restauran',' he said. 'But I do not think New Yorkers want to eat Greek food unless they are Greeks, and already there are many Greek restauran's 'ere. An' I 'ave no money to pay waiters.'

'Well,' said Chandler, 'I have a good friend who is a chef, and wants her own restaurant. Maybe she would be interested in buying the rest of your lease.'

'_Alēthia_?' said Costas in excitement. 'For true? Then we could go back to Athens and start _kafenēon_ there, or maybe _zakharoplastēon_, with sweets as well.'

'You should,' said Janice. 'How could anyone resist that _baklavà_?'

'She'd have to come and see the place,' said Chandler, 'and of course we would have to talk with the people you are leasing from.'

'Of course, of course,' said Costas. 'You bring your friend, and we do business. 'Ere,' he grabbed a notepad and scribbled on it, 'is my _teléfono_, my number.'

Chanlder finished his coffee, discovering too late the layer of coffee grounds at the bottom. He grabbed a water glass and swilled his mouth out. Costas grinned. 'Is problem with Greek coffee,' he said. 'Not like espresso that way. But .. you like?'

'It's fine,' said Chandler. 'But we must be going.' He got out his wallet.

'You wait _ena momento_,' said Costas and hurried into the back, more Greek pouring out. He reappeared shortly with a small box. 'With complimen's,' he said, offering to Janice. When she thanked him profusely, he waved a hand and said, '_Parakalò_'.He took Chandler's ten dollar bill and gave him three back, refusing all offer of a tip. 'Come back soon,' he said, and returned to the back room.

Janice peeked inside the box: there was a large slice of_ baklavà_, at last twice what she had eaten. 'Isn't that sweet?' she said. 'But, Chandler, where is Monica going to get the money to take that lease over?'

'I have an idea for that,' said Chandler. He looked at her. 'You know, I think I may have an idea about what I want to do, too, so now I can relax. You wanna relax too?'

She giggled and met his eyes with a sly grin. 'I have no work today. Come and see my apartment; I've redecorated since you were last there.'

Arms around each other, they wandered off.

-----

Much later, in the early evening, Chandler and Janice entered Central Perk together, looking well pleased with each other. Everyone else was there, Rachel being on shift that evening, but she was elswhere at the moment when they entered. At the sight of Janice all showed various expressions of startlement, verging on alarm in Joey's case.

'Hi, you guys!' said Janice, animatedly, but in a softer tone of voice than they remembered. 'Surprise, surprise!' Normally this would have been a cue for her machine-gun laugh, but although Joey for one winced in anticipation, it did not come. 'I know I'm the last person you were expecting to see,' she continued, 'but I have taken what Chandler said to heart, and I'm gonna try _not_ to do the things that bother him so.' Again the expected laugh did not come. 

They gave her small smiles and then looked at Chandler, who nodded. 'We ran into one another,' he said, 'and, well, we're back together. But that's not the only good news. I have had an idea, and this concerns you too, Mon. We went into this Greek coffee place on Tenth Street that is also set up for a restaurant,  a small one but with up-to-date fittings, as far as I could tell, and the owner would like to get out. I thought, why not take over the rest of his lease? Of course, I said you'd want to look it over.'

'His wife makes the greatest _baklavà_ you ever tasted,' said Janice enthusiastically. 'You should go there just to eat some.'

Monica's mouth fell open. 'Oh Chandler – and you thought of _me_? Janice, can I kiss him?'

Janice grinned. 'Go ahead, but not too much.' Monica leaned over to Chandler and placed a brief kiss on his cheek.

'But Mon,' said Joey a bit discontentedly, 'where will you get the money for the lease?'

Just as Monica was saying, 'Take out a loan, I suppose,' Chandler held up a finger.

'That was my second idea,' he said. 'I've probably got enough to take up the lease, or most of it. I would like to invest in your restaurant, Monica, and what's more I'd like to work there as your front of house guy, and do your accounts, and stuff. This is something I feel I could do, and would enjoy doing. Maybe we could even get Rachel to be a waitress, and Phoebe could entertain the customers, and Ross and Joey could be your other shareholders.'

'Wow!' said Monica, her eyes alight, 'you've thought it all out. Oh Chandler!' She threw her arms round him and gave him another kiss, still on the cheek but rather more hearty than the first. 'When can we go and see it?'

'We could probably go this evening,' said Chandler, 'but I should telephone first.'

'What's all the excitement?' said Rachel, appearing at their table. 'Why, hello, Janice.'

'Hi, Rachel,' said Janice, smiling at her in a friendly fashion. 'How's things?'

'Oh, so-so,' said Rachel casually, but looking a little strained. 'You and Chandler are back together, then?'

Janice hugged Chandler's arm. 'Yeah, he's giving me another chance,' she said guilelessly. 'Aren't I lucky?' 

'Yeah, some people have all the luck,' said Rachel with a certain emphasis. She glanced at Chandler, who seemed rather uncomfortable, but her expression was unreadable. 'Anyway, Mon, you seem excited. What's up?'

Monica burst into excited speech. Chandler let her go ahead, but at the end he said coaxingly, 'Wouldn't you like to come and waitress for us, Rachel? I'm sure we can offer a better deal than you get here.'

'I'll have to think about that,' said Rachel in a tone that suggested she was not very happy. 'I'm not sure I could take the hours. Well, I see some new customers.' She bustled off, leaving a slightly down feeling behind her. Monica looked towards Chandler, but he avoided her glance.

'I'mnot sure about playing for you, actually,' said Phoebe suddenly. 'It's a nice offer, but to tell you the truth, I've gone off my songs a bit. I feel they're rather silly, and you guys have been very good to put up with them, really.'

'They're not all silly – and you could write new songs,' said Chandler encouragingly.

Phoebe shook her head. 'I want to put my creativity into thinking out this guidebook Ross and I are going to write.' She looked lovingly at Ross, who smiled back happily and hugged her.

'Tell you what,' said Joey, 'Maybe I could sing for you. I've been getting guitar lessons, and I already know a few songs with simple backing. But it would have to fit in with the Days Of Our Lives schedule.'

'Way to go, Joe!' said Phoebe enthusiastically. 'Hey, why don't you do a number on my set tonight? I'm sure Gunther won't mind.'

As Joey was showing bashful reluctance and Phoebe was urging him to try it, Chandler got up. 'I'll ring Costas,' he said determinedly. 'No time like the present.'

Rachel's eyes followed him as he went outside to phone. Only Ross was looking at her, and so only he saw the pain in her eyes.


	6. A New Job for Rachel?

Chapter 6: A New Job for Rachel?

Gunther was feeling very happy, for him, and whistled as he began to set up for the day. At last the years of auditions had paid off, and he could quit this job. Not that he wanted to so much now. For one thing, he wouldn't get to see Rachel any more, unless he came in for coffee, and that was truly a loss. But in his heart of hearts he knew that any fantasies he might have about attracting her were just that – fantasies. He needed to meet new people.

Just then, Rachel came in for the morning shift, looking a little sad, but as beautiful as ever. He sighed. It was going to be hard not having her around to feast his eyes upon.

'Hi, Gunther!' she said. 'What's new? You seem very happy about something.'

'Well, I have got good news,' he said, almost unable to contain his glee. 'You remember how I used to be an actor?'

'Sure.' 

'Well, I've never given up trying out at auditions, and now I've finally got a part,' he said proudly.

'Oh, Gunther, that's great!' she cried, really pleased for him.

'And guess what the part is,' he went on, grinning from ear to ear.

She shook her head. 'No way I can guess, except it's not James Bond, is it?'

He laughed. 'No, it's a job you could say I have been rehearsing for, all my time here.'

Her mouth fell open. 'Not …' She waved her hand around.

He nodded eagerly. 'Yes!' He burst out laughing, and just managed to get out, 'I'm going to play the manager of a coffee shop in a sitcom,' before he broke down entirely.

Rachel broke into helpless giggles. They leaned on each other, momentarily overcome with laughter. Rachel recovered first.

'But who'll replace you?' she said, her brow wrinkling.

'Well,' said Gunther, smiling at her, 'I've talked to Terry. Would you be interested? It's more hours, but the pay's not bad.'

'Me?' she said in amazement. 'But, but … I've only been here a few months, and I didn't start well, did I? Surely Terry won't want _me_.'

'That's where you're wrong,' said Gunther. 'You may not have noticed, but he's been dropping by now and then, checking up on you, and he thinks you've been shaping up really well. I told him, I think you've got what it takes.'

'Oh Gunther, thanks for that!' said Rachel, hugging him impulsively. 'But what about the other waitresses? They've been here longer than me.'

Gunther just managed to fight down his urge to kiss her before she let go of him. 'I, I happen to know, they're, they're only interested in part-time work,' he stammered. 'If you want the job, it's yours.'

Rachel looked uncertain. 'How long do I have to think about it?'

'I have to do a week's notice once we've made an appointment,' said Gunther, 'to give me time to show whoever it is the ropes. Can you give a definite yes or no in twenty-four hours?'

'Okay,' said Rachel. 'I'll certainly do that.'

She went about her work in something of a daze, but, knowing the reason, Gunther and the other waitress made allowances. About ten thirty, Monica dropped in for a quick chat before going to work. She was beaming.

'This restaurant thing looks like it might really happen,' she said. 'Oh, I can hardly wait.'

'That's great, honey,' said Rachel. 'It'll be a lot of work, though.'

'But I'll be working for _me_!' said Monica emphatically. She looked at Rachel affectionately. 'Rach, I wish you'd come in with us. It'd be so great to have you as my head waiter, and it would be a much better position for you.'

Rachel smiled a little ruefully. 'Maybe, if things were different – but I couldn't take being around Chandler that much, right now. I'll have to get over what I was beginning to feel for him. Anyway, I do have the offer of another job. Gunther's leaving, and I can have his job if I want it. I'm trying to decide if I do.'

'That's great!' Monica shrieked, throwing her arms round her. 'You should definitely do it!'

'What should she do?' said Ross as he came in with Phoebe on his arm.

'Run Central Perk!' said Monica, almost jumping up and down in her excitement. 'She's got the offer of Gunther's job.'

'Wow!' said Ross, as amazed as Rachel had been.

'Oh, that would be so cool!' said Phoebe. 'You'd let us have our coffee for free, wouldn't you?'

Rachel gave her a disbelieving look. 'I'd have to charge you, Pheebs,' she said, mildly but firmly. 'They'd fire me otherwise.'

'Well, maybe it's not such a good idea then,' said Phoebe discontentedly. 'Could you at least bring out any muffins and stuff that aren't completely fresh any more and pass them round?'

'I dare say that goes with the job,' said Rachel. 'Gunther will tell me.'

'You don't need handouts, Pheebs,' said Ross in gentle reproof. 'You're making a fair wage now.'

Phoebe looked slightly abashed. 'Sorry. Old habits die hard. So how's the restaurant deal, Mon?'

As Monica began explaining excitedly, Rachel sidled up to Ross. 'What do you think?' she said. 'Should I take the job? I'd value your opinion, Ross.'

He smiled. 'I think you should. Even at Monica's restaurant, you'd only be a waiter. But this would look good on your CV – it would show you can _run_ something. And don't think you can't do it. You used to organise all kinds of things at high school.'

'So I did,' she said. 'I kind of let things go when I grew up, and then, running out on my wedding …' She left the sentence unfinished.

'It made you lose confidence in yourself,' said Ross. 'I understand. I felt the same way when Carol left me. But we have both been able to recover. I say, go for it.' He gazed into her big, trusting eyes. Rachel looked so entrancing that the memories of the crush that he had had on her revived, and for a moment he almost regretted that he had fallen in love with Phoebe. Suddenly aware that he was staring at her, he broke eye contact. 

Also seeming slightly embarrassed, she gave one of her little coughs and said, 'Okay, that's two in favour. I think I'll do it. But right now I'd better get to work.' She hurried off to two newly arrived customers who had just entered. Both were young women, one with short reddish-brown hair and rather skimpy clothing that revealed a navel-stud, the other short and dark-haired. Both looked at her as if they knew who she was.

'Hi,' said the dark-haired one. 'You're Rachel, one of Phoebe's friends, aren't you? I'm Jasmine; I worked with her as a masseuse, before she got her new job. I share an apartment with Gunther. We figured we ought to come in here and see what all the fuss was about.'

'Yeah, and I know another of your friends, Ross,' said the other woman. 'He's always coming into the copy place where I work, to get things done. He's a great guy, pushes us to our limits but always polite about it. I'm Chloe, by the way; Jasmine's brother works with me.' She held out a hand.

'Wow,' said Rachel, shaking it. 'Small world, huh? I think you know other friends of mine too, Joey and Chandler. Both Ross and Phoebe are here, in fact, over there.'

'Great,' said Chloe. 'Let's go join them.'

They were greeted enthusiastically by Ross and Phoebe, and introduced to Monica, while Rachel took everyone's orders. She got back to hear Chloe saying, 'No, I only work there part-time, to help support myself while I finish my doctorate.'

'WOW!' said Phoebe, her eyes wide. 'You're doing a _doctorate_?'

'Yeah, but not on your and Ross's stuff,' said Chloe. 'I deal with what's modern history by comparison.' She turned to Rachel. 'Coming to chat for a while?'

'Yes, do, Rachel,' said Ross, smiling at her. 'We don't get to talk with you nearly enough, now you're so conscientious.'

Rachel was tempted, but she could not help looking around, and there were more new customers. She sighed. 'That would be great, but I've taken time out already to talk about whether to take over running this place from Gunther,' she said. 'I must deal with these customers. I'll try to get back.'

As she scurried around taking and delivering orders, it occurred to her that, if she were the manager like Gunther, she wouldn't even be able to take a few minutes off to chat with her friends, unless things were very slack. Maybe they would be willing to come to the counter to chat with her. The rush of business continued to grow: suddenly, it seemed everyone in the Village wanted coffee. Finally, when it was well past noon, things slowed down, but by then all of the others had gone except Chandler, Janice and Joey; she had been working so hard that she had not even noticed when they had come in.

'Take a break, Rachel,' said Gunther kindly.  'It's way past your lunchtime. Go and talk to your friends.' He evidently had no idea how things might stand between her and Chandler. But she realised that she needed a rest. Getting herself a large coffee and something to eat, she went over to sit with them. They greeted her cheerfully.

'Didn't even see you guys come in,' she said.

'Yeah, I know,' said Joey. 'You were working your ass off. So, are you going to take the job? You wouldn't have to run about so much.'

'There's that,' said Rachel. 'But I was thinking, I won't get to come and chat with you guys any more. When does Gunther ever come out from behind the counter?'

'That's because Gunther's Gunther,' said Chandler. 'If you were manager, I guess you could make your own rules, as long as the customers stayed happy.'

'That's true,' said Rachel thoughtfully. 'That is certainly true. Well, I'm thinking, maybe I'll go for it.'

'So, we can't tempt you to Monica's restaurant?' said Chandler, doing his crinkly-eyed smile at her. 'It really does look like it's going to happen.'

Rachel sighed, feeling irritation rise in her. 'You're _not_ very good at taking no for an answer, are you, Chandler? You know as well as I do why I won't do it.' She looked at him, letting her feelings show. His face twitched and he looked away.

'Why, whatever do you mean?' said Janice. 'What's she getting at, Chandler?' There was a hint of the old Janice in her voice.

'Let it go,' said Chandler. He turned back to Rachel. 'I'm sorry,' he said sincerely. 'I'll drop it.'

She nodded. 'So how's the great actor, Joey?' she said, trying to inject some playfulness into her voice. 'Are you getting any word how you're going down?'

'Sure,' he said. 'They love me. There's someone told off just to handle my fanmail.You know, those fans, they write all kinds of crazy things. Some even seem to think we make up our own lines!' He mimed incredulity. 'The other day, I got some of the writers who give me all these great lines and situations to go out for a drink with me. There's men and women both, and the women can be quite cute.'

'Hey hey hey!' said Chandler. 'Where does Monica fit into this?'

Joey's face showed discontent. 'I hardly see her any more, now she's so wrapped up in this restaurant thing,' he said. 'But I'm not _dating _any of them – though I could get dates if I wanted. There's all sorts of women connected with the show, and plenty of them come on to me.'

'Oh oh!' said Chandler. 'Are any of them as great as Monica? You'd be a fool to throw that away, Joe, just because you're not seeing her as often as you'd like. Once the restaurant's set up, she should have more time for you.'

'You believe that?' said Joey, his voice rising in apparent anger. 'She'll be shopping, and cooking, and planning, and figuring, just like now … I tell you, guys, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it.' He got up. 'I'd better be going. Got a rehearsal soon.'

Chandler and Rachel looked at each other. 'If you think that's going to last, a dollar will win you a trip around the world,' said Chandler.

Rachel nodded unhappily. 'I'm afraid you're right. I hope Mon doesn't take it too badly. Well, better get back to work. See you, Janice.'

When she had gone, Janice nudged Chandler. 'Now tell me what that was about.'

'What was what about?' said Chandler, trying to seem innocent, but knowing perfectly well what Janice was referring to.

'That thing Rachel _said_,' said Janice insistently. '_Why_ should you know why she won't do it? Was there something _between_ you?' With every sentence, her voice was beginning to sound more like the old Janice.

He decided to be honest. 'It looked like there might be going to be,' he said, 'but then you and I met again.'

'She seems rather _unhappy_,' Janice commented, looking at him reproachfully.

He swallowed. 'Well, I may have led her on a bit. But we never got close to dating.'

'Ah, unlike all the _others_,' said Janice, now sounding rather scornful. 'I've been hearing about them, here and there.'

'Janice, you can't be jealous of what I did when we weren't together,' Chandler protested.

'Maybe not,' said Janice. 'But how about you trying to run me at the same time as other women? That was what you were originally going to do, wasn't it? And maybe you were angling for hot Rachel as well?'

Chandler looked at her in alarm. She seemed to be genuinely angry. 'What's gotten into you, Janice?' he said.

'Oh, I ran into someone called Aurora,' said Janice. 'Or rather, she got talking to me. She had seen us about together. You dropped her rather _suddenly_, didn't you – though she didn't seem to mind too much, so I suppose it was like your dates with people in your office, nothing_ serious_. But what with all that I've heard, and now this about Rachel too – it makes me wonder whether I can _trust_ you.' She looked at him with smouldering eyes.

'Janice, please …' he stammered. 'After all we've said – after all we've been to each other – how can you believe that?'

'I don't _know_,' she wailed, suddenly switching emotions. 'But I can't help being _afraid_ I'm going to lose you.' She got up. 'I'm sorry, I'm upsetting us both; I'll go now. I'll be in touch, sweetie, I promise.' She bent down and kissed him quickly on the cheek, then hurried out, leaving him staring after her, stunned. How had their relationship fallen apart in only a minute or two?

'What's the problem, Chandler?' came Rachel's voice. 'You look so sad.'

He turned to see her standing behind him, a concerned look on her face.

'Janice and I fought,' he said disspiritedly, 'or rather, she got very upset with me.'

She sat down and regarded him sympathetically. 'What was it about? Surely you two are in love enough to work this out.'

Chandler sighed. 'I'm not sure I should tell you.'

'Was it over what I said?' she gasped. 'Oh Chandler, I'm so sorry. But you must have told her there was nothing between us.'

'I did,' he said, 'but she added it to what she knew about my dates, and had heard from Aurora – she ran into her – and she's getting to where she's not sure she can trust me.' He put his head in his hands. 'I wish now I hadn't gotten all confident with women,' he said miserably, 'though if I hadn't, we'd never have got back together.'

Rachel sat down beside him and pulled his head onto her shoulder. 'There, there, Chandler, I'm sure this will pass. You just have to show her you truly love her. If she's got _any _sense, she'll realise how silly she's being. Just don't go off on a date with anyone else to show her you don't care, or something silly like that. Be patient.'

Chandler found himself smiling. 'That's good advice.'

'Maybe you can give me some in return,' she said. 'What do you really think about this offer of Gunther's job? You said more sensible things than anyone else, a few minutes ago.'

Chandler looked thoughtful and studied his shoes. When he looked up and caught her eyes again, she was looking at him so eagerly that he had to laugh.

'The description "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed" might have been coined for you,' he said.

'Oh, you!' she giggled, giving him the softest of slaps on his arm. 'Well, what do you think?'

'Seriously,' he said, 'I think you should only agree to do it if you can work out some kind of shift system. I mean, you'd have no life at all if you were here all the time that Gunther spends here, and only took time off very occasionally, and I know you: you like your social life. Maybe you should be senior manager and have general responsibility and all that, but either someone else takes over in the evenings, or you do some days and not others, or you do shifts like the waitresses. I know you _could _do the job, but you don't want to give up your whole life to it.'

'That's _great_ advice!' she cried. 'Oh Chandler, thank you so, so much.'

She threw her arms around him and gave him a grateful kiss. It was meant to be on the cheek, but it came very near to his mouth, and he found it all too easy to turn his face a little and steal a kiss from her inviting lips. For a moment he thought she responded; then she started away.

'You … you spoiled it,' she said, looking as if she felt betrayed. He was shocked to see tears welling up in her eyes. 'Why did you have to do that?' Wiping a hand across her eyes, she got up and marched away. He rose too, looking after her and holding out a hand as if he could stop her that way, but she did not look back, even when he called her name.

Ignoring Gunther's dark look at him, he sat down again, his mind in turmoil. Why, indeed, had he done it? Was he developing feelings for her that he should not have, when he was committed to Janice? Or was he on a rebound from Janice already? How had things become so complicated?


	7. The Grand Opening

Chapter 7: The Grand Opening

'Lucy, there's a customer in your section who's been waiting to order for at least five minutes,' hissed Rachel. 'Move, move, move!'

'Yes, _ma'am_!' said Lucy, scooting out from behind the counter as if she was on wheels and had been pushed.

Was I ever that slow? thought Rachel to herself. Yes, in fact I was downright lazy, she admitted. But those days were gone. She had shaped up, she was the day manager most days now, and she could surely sympathise with Monica's complaints about incompetent or slow co-workers and having to do everything herself if she wanted it done right. She missed waitressing somewhat, and often sallied from behind the counter to take a pot of coffee round for fill-ups, or a cake that she had baked, to offer to regular customers. It gave her a buzz to have the ones she knew greet her and sometimes compliment her on how she was running Central Perk. She had even managed to increase the regular clientele a bit, to Terry's loudly expressed pleasure.

Casting a quick glance around, she felt that she could relax a bit: everything looked satisfactory. She allowed her mind to wander a little. Tonight was the grand opening of Monica's restaurant, after all the delays, and she had arranged to hand over to the night manager early, so as to have time to clean up and dress and be there in good time. She could hardly wait to see Chandler all dressed up as a maitre de – he had said that he would wear a tuxedo – and watch him at work. She thought she was over the feelings that she had begun developing for him, but it would be great to see him in a new light, all the same. Ross and Phoebe had promised to show; she was to share a table with them, in fact, and they were keeping a seat for Joey too. No one knew what he was doing, but he ought to show up. He and Monica had not been out together much recently, but they had not officially broken up either. 

A voice interrupted her thoughts. 'Excuse me, may I talk to you for a minute?'

She focussed, to see a slightly large but stylishly dressed blonde woman, who had come in on several occasions recently, standing at the counter.

'I'm sorry,' Rachel said. 'I was miles away, thinking about my friend's opening night. How may I help you?'

'First off, may I compliment you on your dress sense?' the woman said. 'Every time I've come in you've been wearing a different outfit, and all of it well chosen and worn with flair.'

Rachel blushed a little. 'Thank you. I love clothes. I used to spend _all_ my money on them, but I'm a bit more restrained now.'

'Have you been in this job long?' the woman asked.

'As manager, less than a month,' said Rachel, wondering why she was being asked this. 'But I was a waitress here for some months before that.'

'You don't sound like a natural waitress, if you know what I mean,' the woman said. 'You sound as if you've been to college.'

'Oh yes,' said Rachel. 'But, well … I had to get a job, and waitressing was the only one I could get. I wasn't qualified for anything.'

'Seems like there's a story there,' said the woman, smiling. 'My name's Joanna Waterman. I'm an executive buyer in Bloomingdales fashion department.'

'Bloomingdales!' gasped Rachel. 'Oh, I _love_ Bloomingdales! Excuse me just one moment.' She gave the shop a quick once-over. Everyone still looked happy. She returned her glance to Joanna. 'Just checking up. I'm Rachel Green.' She held out her hand.

Joanna shook it and said, 'You're really  conscientious. I like that. Have you ever thought of working in fashion?'

'I tried out for a job at Saks a while back,' said Rachel. 'I thought the interview went well, but I didn't get it.'

'Who interviewed you?' said Joanna sharply.

'Barbara something,' said Rachel.

Joanna snorted. 'She couldn't pick a good assistant if her life depended on it.'

'But I'm not entirely surprised, looking back,' said Rachel. 'When I started off, I was lazy and rich-girlish, and I expect that came through a bit.'

Joanna positively beamed at her. 'Rachel – I hope I can call you that – I'd like you to think very seriously about taking as job as my assistant. I have a secretary, but she's not executive material.'

Rachel gasped. 'Me? Just on the basis of my clothes sense?'

'I've watched the way you run this place,' said Joanna, 'and brighten it up too. I think you could go far at Bloomingdales.'

'It's very tempting,' said Rachel. 'Very _very_ tempting, but … I'd have to give them time to replace me here, and train the replacement. We ought to talk contracts too.' Inwardly, she felt proud of being so businesslike when her head was in a whirl at this fantastic offer, right out of the blue.

Joanna nodded. 'Sure. I can get by for a while with just Sophie, but I'll need to know if you're interested within three days. If you are, we'll have to interview you, but with my backing there should be no problem. You can certainly work out any notice here. Now, indulge my curiosity: what's this opening night? Does your friend act?'

Rachel explained about Monica's restaurant.

'Mm – intriguing,' said Joanna. 'Could I drop in to see you there? I'll have to talk to my superiors about possible terms for a contract, and I could bring that information.'

'Come as my guest,' said Rachel impulsively. 'Monica will be pleased: obviously, we want as many there on opening night as we can get.'

Joanna accepted the invitation in a rather regal manner, as if it was no more than her due, but Rachel did not feel offended. This was a great offer, after all.

Nothing else remarkable happened that morning, until Ross and Phoebe came in on their lunch break, as they often did, arguing as usual. It never ceased to amaze Rachel how they could argue constantly without ever losing their tempers, but they seemed to enjoy it. It also seemed amazing to her that Phoebe was now the true believer in science, while Ross had become much more open to suggestions of the paranormal and supernatural. Just as Phoebe read his books, he was now reading hers. He was quite capable of watching The X-Files without  pouring scorn on the whole concept, and had been heard to say that no one knew the whole story on that Roswell business and he wouldn't be surprised if there was something really weird behind it all.

On this occasion, as they came up to the counter, Ross was saying, 'Yes, but Pheebs, don't you believe the ancients could have known stuff that we don't? Look at what they could do, like building the pyramids.'

'All explicable if you have the time, the labour, and the resources to feed them,' said Phoebe. 'People are working out the mechanics. Hi, Rach. You're looking pretty chipper.'

'I just had a job offer, to work in fashion at Bloomie's,' said Rachel excitedly.

'Hey, that's great,' said Ross enthusiastically. 'You're gonna take it, I hope?'

'I think so,' said Rachel, 'though I'll miss Central Perk and the feeling of being my own boss, more or less.'

'Yes, you've really made a difference here,' said Phoebe. 'It has a very welcoming feel, like a good aura.' She smiled at her friends' surprise. 'I can still feel auras, you know; I just don't go on about them the way I did. Let's see, I think I fancy a large decaf and a muffin today, unless you have any cake?'

'All gone,' said Rachel, smiling. 'The customers can't get enough of it.'

'I'm not surprised,' said Ross. 'I'll take a large regular and a muffin. Okay, Pheebs, I'll give you the technological side, but what about other things? I know a lot of it is crap, but mightn't there be something behind astrology? If the moon can affect us, why not planets?'

'They're much further away,' said Phoebe tartly. 'Besides, hadn't you heard? The sun now passes through Ophiuchus as well as the traditional signs of the Zodiac, so where's all the stuff that's, like, predicated on there being only twelve signs?' She grinned triumphantly.

Ross laughed and threw up his hands. 'I can't beat her,' he confided to Rachel. 'She soaks up knowledge and arguments like a sponge. Always got her nose in a book now.' His tone was one of loving admiration.

'There's no end to what there is to know,' said Phoebe enthusiastically. 'And I'll never be able to thank Ross enough for turning me on to it all.'

'You came to it of your own accord,' said Ross. 'I just helped you along.'

They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes and exchanged a light kiss, while Rachel regarded them indulgently. Of all the possible pairings among their group of friends, this looked like the most solidly based. She was very happy for them both, as well as slightly relieved. The force of Ross's crush on her had sometimes felt almost oppressive. But she missed the sense of being especially cherished which it had given her, and which she had just begun to feel with Chandler, before he had taken up again with Janice. She was not at all sure where things stood between him and Janice now. Like Monica, he had been spending most of his free time on preparations for opening the restaurant, so much so that Rachel sometimes wondered why they did not get together.

None of the others came in, not even Joey, who was probably shooting another episode of Days Of Our Lives or some other work; he was constantly in demand for ads now, as an increasingly well-known face. There were plenty of other customers, though, many in a hurry and so inclined to be snappy or demanding. She handled them as diplomatically as she could, but felt increasingly impatient to end her shift and get away.

-----

In Monica's restaurant it was less than half an hour to opening time, and Monica felt she was staying on top of the situation only by prodigious efforts. At least, thanks to Chandler, much that could go wrong had been anticipated. She glanced at him as he moved about the restaurant dealing with last-minute stuff, a Chandler that she had never seen before, apparently suave and unruffled and completely absorbed in what he was doing. She thought he looked very distinguished in his tuxedo, and for a moment almost wished that she had got mixed up with him instead of Joey. In truth, she was wondering if she had a relationship with Joey any more. She didn't even know if he would come tonight; he had been irritatingly vague about it, just saying that he would make it if he could. At least her other friends would all be there, and Rachel had rung in to say that she would be bringing a guest, bless her. There was one big booking, too: at least the place would be fairly full.

Abruptly she snapped out of her rumination, to rescue a saucepan that was about to boil over. Her co-chef Paula should have got it, but she was completely involved in directing the temporary staff, who were preparing plates of _amuse-bouches_ and _mezé_ – they had decided on a predominantly east Mediterranean theme for the first night, to suggest a little continuity with Costas's coffee shop. Monica did not have the heart to scold her. She felt she was lucky to have lured her away from the Iridium restaurant, where they had had a harmonious relationship.

'Five minutes to opening time,' called Chandler.

'Oh wow!' cried Paula. 'Are we really gonna do this?'

'Too late to back out now,' said Monica, with a laugh in her voice. Now that the stressful period of setting up was over, she was beginning to feel excited. She wished Rachel was out there as her head waitress, rather than Wendy, but you couldn't have everything. She knew Rachel was enjoying her job as day manager at Central Perk, and doing well, by what she heard from Ross and Phoebe. She felt a twinge of guilt at having dropped in so little recently, but setting up the restaurant really had demanded almost her time.

'There are some eager-looking faces out there,' said Chandler, coming over to the counter. 'Can you handle it if I open a little early?'

'Go ahead,' said Monica. 'We've got enough starters to hold them.'

With a flourish Chandler unlocked the door, and almost immediately had to assert himself and make people wait in line to be seated. But he managed it with a seemingly natural authority and aplomb, causing Monica's opinion of him to rise even further. Maybe he really was made for this sort of job. Soon the temporary waiters were circulating with the complimentary _amuse-bouches_ – falaffel with pitta bread, tzatziki dip with celery stalks, and other delicacies – and free glasses of wine, while Wendy was taking orders and Chandler was taking orders for drinks. Then the orders began coming in, and Monica and Paula set to work.

Three quarters of an hour later things had settled down. Those who had dropped in for the complimentary freebies had left, the serious diners were well into their main courses, and Monica relaxed for a moment to look around. The big booking was not due until eight, but over in a corner she saw Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and a rather large, well-dressed woman, all conversing animatedly. She had put stuffed peppers on the menu especially for Phoebe, and was pleased to see her laying into them enthusiastically.

'I'm taking five to talk to my friends,' she called to Paula. 'Yell if you need me.'

'Okay, go!' Paula called back. 'We've got it under control here.'

Monica walked over to her friends' table, unable to stop herself beaming at them. '_Thanks_ for coming, guys,' she said.

'Mon, you look really cute in your chef's hat,' said Rachel, smiling at her, 'and this food is _delicious_. By the way, this is Joanna Waterman, who may be going to be my boss at Bloomingdales soon.'

Monica shook her hand, accepting further compliments from the others gracefully. Then Chandler came over.

'Everyt'ing hokay, sir and madams?' he said in an assumed foreign accent, and kept his face absolutely impassive as they cracked up.

'Chandler, you were born to be a maitre de,' Phoebe cried. 'And you wear that tux!'

'Doesn't he just!' said Joanna, smiling at him in a somewhat predatory way. Chandler allowed an answering smile to crack his professional mask.

'Not long till our mystery booking,' he said to Monica. 'You'd better be ready. There's at least eight of them, and maybe more, so I was told on the phone.'

'Have a little of our wine before you go,' said Ross. Chandler conjured a clean glass from somewhere, and Monica clinked glasses with them and said '_Yia sas!_' as Costas had taught them to do. Then Paula yelled, and she tossed the wine back and hurried to the kitchen again. She was absorbed in simmering an order of Fish Plaki, intent on getting it just right, when there was a considerable commotion out front. She heard Chandler's voice raised in unprofessional excitement and the girls screeching, but despite her curiosity she would not look until she felt the fish was ready. Only then did she peer out. Her heart leaped. It was Joey, with a whole bunch of people from Days Of Our Lives including two of the stars. He beamed and waved when he saw her. 

She beckoned. 'I can't leave the kitchen,' she called, 'but you can come in.'

He rushed over, and she cast all chefly aloofness aside to throw her arms round him and give him a good kiss. 'Oh Joey!' she said. 'What a wonderful surprise! I couldn't have asked for better. _Thank _you for doing this for me.'

'Mon, you look good enough to eat, all done up as a chef,' said Joey, smiling down at her.

'Well, I'm not on the menu,' she said, then, with an entrancing smile, 'but I could feature as a late-night dessert.'

His smile broadened. 'You got it,' he said. 'Now, what's good tonight, apart from you?'

-----

Much later, Monica was sitting with her friends, having a late glass of wine; otherwise, the restaurant was empty and more or less tidied up. She felt exhausted but exhilarated. It had gone very well: there had been no major upsets, no complaints about the food that could not be dismissed as ridiculously picky – Joey's guests had been unanimously enthusiastic – and publicity was assured. The word had got to the Village Voice that Days Of Our Lives stars were in her restaurant, and they had sent a reporter and photographer. Joey had gone off with his guests, but had promised faithfully to come to her later. Rachel's prospective boss Joanna had also left, but not before giving Chandler her card and a pretty broad hint that she would love to have a date with him. He and Rachel were chatting away about professional problems that they had in common, such as unreliable suppliers and difficult customers, and seemed to be getting on very well again.

Then Janice appeared. She was quite evidently far from sober. 'Chandler BING!' she cried, in full raucous Janice mode. 'How's my Bing-a-ling?' She staggered across, and almost fell into his arms as he got up. She turned an admiring face up to him. 'You look _great_ in that tux!'

'Janice,' he said quietly, 'you're being a bit noisy.'

Her face fell. 'I'm sorry, Chandler, but I just can't keep it up. It's _so _not me, y'know, being quiet and refined.' She gave her machinegun laugh.

He sighed. 'You walked out on me at Central Perk, Janice, and when I phoned you couldn't make the dates I suggested. Now you want us to start up again, just like that?'

'Well, _yeah!_' she said rather indignantly. 'What'samatter, aren't I good enough for you, Mr. Head Waiter?'

'Okay, that does it,' he said decisively. 'I'm sorry, Janice, but I've explained to you why I find it difficult to enjoy being with you when you're like this, and you're not doing anything to make me change my mind. Dumping on my job doesn't help.'

'So?' she said, her face tensing as he gently moved her away from him.

'So it's over,' he said, his voice quiet and steady. 'I thought it was over already, when you made no real attempt to make up after that day in Central Perk. And before you ask, no, there isn't anyone else. I haven't been dating. I was waiting for you, but you're no longer the Janice I was waiting for.'

She stood in front of him, weaving a little on her feet, her face working. Then she slapped him hard across the face and turned to the others. 'Don't you take up with him, Rachel, Monica. He'll love you and leave you, just like me.' Tears were beginning to come, but when Monica, her soft heart touched, got up to try to comfort her Janice waved her down. 'I'll be okay,' she said. 'I will survive,' she sang off key. Then she turned on her heel and staggered out again.

Rachel jumped up. 'She needs a cab,' she said. 'Come on, Mon, we can't let her wander around New York in that state.'

They ran after her and caught her before only a few steps from the restaurant. She had broken down and was weeping loudly. Monica hugged her while Rachel kept a lookout for a cab. Janice made no attempt to get away from them, but rather seemed pathetically grateful, though she kept repeating, 'He'll love you and leave you,' in a voice that suggested she was trying to remember the words of a song.

When a cab finally pulled up she heaved a great sigh. 'Oh God, I blew it, didn't I?' she said. 'But I just couldn't keep the lid on the way he wanted. What should I do?' She looked at them in appeal.

'Maybe,' said Monica, 'you should try toning down just a bit at a time. Chandler tried to make you go cold turkey; looking back, that was a mistake.'

Janice tried to smile. 'Good advice. You running Central Perk now, Rachel?'

'In the daytime, most days,' said Rachel. 'Why don't you drop around for a coffee and a chat some time? Chandler isn't there much any more.'

Janice nodded, then looked at her slyly. 'I guess he may be around a bit more often now. Sorry to make a scene in your restaurant, Monica; I hope you won't ban me. I'd have come earlier, but I couldn't work up the nerve. That's why I drank so much.'

'Lady, d'ya want this cab or not?' said the cab-driver in an irritated voice.

'Yeah, yeah,' said Janice, 'in a second, all right? I don't see anyone else looking for a cab.' She turned back to Rachel and Monica. 'Thanks, you guys. I'll be seeing you, maybe. Good luck with Chandler, Rachel: you'll need it.' She got into the cab and lay back against the seat, not looking at them any more.

They walked back together. 'Poor Janice,' said Monica. 'She tried so hard.'

'Yeah,' said Rachel. She was looking pensive. 'Listen: do you think I have any chance with Chandler?'

'You carrying the torch for him?' said Monica in some surprise.

'Some,' Rachel admitted. 'But it looked like he was interested in Joanna.'

'Well, now might be a good time to get him interested in _you_,' said Monica encouragingly.

But when they got back to the restaurant, Chandler had gone.


	8. Phoebe's Lecture And After

Chapter 8: After Phoebe's Lecture 

Ross looked around at the audience. They were rapt, even his friends who knew Phoebe so well, even Janice, who had shown up, to everyone's surprise and Chandler's ill-concealed unease. Phoebe's lecturing technique was unorthodox – she used very informal language, made wild gestures, sprinkled her text with giggles and jokey comments that she laughed at as much as anyone – but it was extremely effective. Even the museum staff, who also knew her well by now, were apparently enthralled. The only adverse reaction he could spot was from Professor Weisenheimer, a well-known expert in the field but a notoriously dull teacher and writer. He looked as if he could smell something bad. Ross felt Phoebe could survive his disapproval.

'Okay, that's it,' Phoebe ended, with a broad grin at her audience. There was an immediate outburst of applause, which became so prolonged that she stepped from the podium and did an exaggerated curtsey, which provoked some laughter but had the effect of indicating a close to the session. There was a reception, and people began to get up and move towards the back of the room, where the refreshments were laid out.

Ross manoeuvred himself into the congratulatory throng surrounding Phoebe, and caught her eye. She smiled lovingly, and his heart turned over. More and more, he felt certain that this was the woman with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He could now see his feelings for Rachel for what they were, an obsessive crush on a very attractive and likable but basically unintellectual woman. Phoebe was still exploring the capabilities of her brain. Life with her would always be exciting.

'Phoebe, that was greater than great,' he said enthusiastically.

'Yeah, I really felt like I _understood_ something,' said Joey, coming up with other friends.

'Which has to be a first,' quipped Chandler. 'You're a record breaker, Pheebs.'

'I _definitely_ got something out of that,' said Janice. 'Thank you so _much_ for inviting me. So, when do we see the _movie_?' She gave her trademark laugh.

Phoebe giggled, but, before she could reply, Professor Weisenheimer, a bulky man, had pushed to the front of the crowd around her. 'Young lady,' he said ponderously, 'what you had to say was interesting enough, but it would have been a lot better if you had not delivered it in a style more appropriate to a talk show or variety act on the television.' There was a definite sneer in his voice.

Ross felt the blood begin to pound in his temples. He took a step forward, but before he could say a word Phoebe shook her head at him.

'I'll handle this,' she said firmly, then, turning to Weisenheimer, 'would you agree, Professor Weisenheimer, that you should suit your style of address in a public lecture to your audience?'

'Well, I – ' he began, then stopped, apparently unable to think of an answer. After waiting for a moment with an exaggerated air of patience, she continued, with a bit of snap in her voice, 'Maybe you didn't notice, but the majority of the audience were not specialists like yourself, or even students, but ordinary men and women who thought the title of my talk sounded interesting, or were invited as guests, like my friends here. They were ready to learn something, sure, but they didn't want to be just instructed, like a bunch of students taking a course; they wanted to be interested and entertained. So I entertained them, and I hope I can call them to witness that they learned something along the way.' 

There was a chorus of agreement, in which everyone within earshot joined. Phoebe grinned in acknowledgement. 'In fact, maybe students might learn better if they were taught a bit more like that. Do you ever tell jokes or anecdotes when you're teaching, Professor?'

He drew himself up, and said rather pompously, 'I wouldn't demean my subject by doing so.'

'Oh yeah, keep it safely dead,' said Phoebe derisively. 'Well, for me this stuff is _alive_, and I want to pass on my love for it in a lively way.' She looked at him challengingly. Unable to produce a reply, he turned on his heel and marched off.

'Well done, Miss Buffay,' said Dr. Ledbetter, who had come up during Phoebe's little speech. 'I've been wanting to see old Weisenheimer put in his place for years. I thought you gave an excellent lecture, and so did everyone else in the audience, from everything I've heard.' Phoebe went pink with pleasure at this praise. 'I hear your children's talks are very popular, too,' he went on, smiling at her. 'You have fully justified our decision to employ you. In fact, though I can promise nothing, I fully intend to try to persuade our Managing Committee to give you a permanent position that will make full use of your talents. After tonight, I am sure they will agree to a series of lectures at some later date, if you'd be ready to give them.'

'Oh wow!' said Phoebe joyfully. 'You bet I would, Dr. Ledbetter.'

'We'll talk about it later,' he said. 'Enjoy the rest of the evening.You've earned it.' Beaming with generalised benevolence, he wandered off into the crowd.

Phoebe turned to Ross and threw her arms round him. 'You heard the man. Let's go and celebrate, before we get caught by someone who believes the earth was created in 4004 BC or like that. I'm starving.'

'Doing a public lecture takes it out of you, especially the first time or two,' said Ross knowingly.

'Want to drop in at Monica's? I guess Chandler's gone on there already,' said Phoebe.

'I think he and Joey headed off when you were dealing with Weisenheimer,' said Ross. 'Can you believe, I once really admired that guy? What an asshole.'

'Come on, Ross, he's a very distinguished scholar,' said Phoebe mock-sternly. 'But of course,' she went on, 'that doesn't prevent him being an asshole.' They both burst out laughing.

'Where's Rachel?' said Phoebe, looking around. 'And who was that she was with?'

'Mark somebody, a guy from her office,' said Ross casually. 'I think they left right after you finished.'

'Ooh, do you think she's dating him?' said Phoebe, interested as always in her friends' love lives.

'Could be,' said Ross. 'He's a good-looking guy, and he certainly seemed to be interested in her.'

'Maybe they'll be at the restaurant, too,' said Phoebe. 'Okay, let's go.'

'Guys, do you mind if I come too?' said Janice in a small voice. She had been hovering not far away. 'I've made no plans, and I don't want to go back to my apartment. I feel like I need some company.'

Ross groaned mentally, but Phoebe said, 'Sure, Janice,' in a sympathetic tone. Janice smiled at her gratefully. 'I'll try to keep the lid on,' she said. 'Just don't let me have too much to drink.'

-----

When they arrived the restaurant was doing good business. Chandler, poker-faced in his role as maitre d'hotel, accepted Janice's presence without a tremor in his expression, and showed them to a reserved table, where Joey, Rachel and Mark were already sitting.

'Congratulations, Phoebe,' said Rachel, beaming at her. 'It's good to see you making such a success of your new career.'

'Thank you,' said Phoebe, 'and how about yours?' She thought she had picked up something in Rachel's tone.

Rachel sighed. 'I have to admit, it's not quite what I expected,' she said. 'I'm not sure I'm cut out for a career in fashion, after all.'

'Come on, Rachel, you've only been there a week,' said Mark. 'What's the problem?'

Rachel sighed again. 'Well, for one thing … has Joanna Waterman always been like that?'

'I don't know her well,' said Mark. 'Like what, precisely?'

'She's always putting Sophie her secretary down,' said Rachel. 'And when Sophie tries to do something out of the way to please her, like maybe bringing her a cookie, she just puts her down more. I don't like to see it. That's not the way to get the best out of your staff. But I can't say anything, being so new and her assistant and all.'

'I had heard rumours,' said Mark. 'There's a type of boss that's like that, it seems, that just can't help bullying a subordinate: I know of another case. But she doesn't bully you?'

'No,' said Rachel. 'I tell you, I wouldn't put up with it. Maybe she can sense that. But that's not the only thing. All I seem to be doing is typing up invoices and stuff. I miss interacting with other people, and, to be honest, I'm getting the feeling that maybe fashion is something that shouldn't be taken _too_ seriously. I can't seem to whip up the right degree of enthusiasm sometimes.'

Ross, Phoebe and Joey looked at each other. Was this Rachel talking?

'Hey, everybody,' said a cheerful voice. They looked up to see Monica in full chef's outfit, smiling at them.

'Hey, chef!' said Joey enthusiastically. 'What's good tonight?'

'It's all good,' said Monica with fake indignation. Then she leaned down conspiratorially. 'But if you want my advice, you'll go for the lamb. The chicken's getting a little tired.'

'Perhaps it's up past its bedtime,' said Joey, surprising a laugh out of the others.

'Well, lamb sounds good to me,' said Janice, and others agreed.

'What about me?' said Phoebe. 'Do you have any more of those stuffed peppers?'

'Not tonight,' said Monica, 'but I have got stuffed zucchini instead, what the Greeks call Papoutsakia. I'm sorry I couldn't be at your lecture, Pheebs, but I'm working all the hours God sends at the moment.'

'So I notice,' said Joey meaningfully.

'Joey, I _told_ you how it was going to be while I was building the place up,' said Monica in slight exasperation. 'And it's not my fault if the day we're closed always seems to coincide with you shooting something, so we can't get together.'

'Yes, well, at the moment we're like ships passing in the night,' said Joey in a disgruntled tone.

'Sounds more like the Ooah Bird,' said Janice, with a wicked grin.

'What's that?' said Phoebe in an interested tone.

Janice's voice took on a chanting tone. 'Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Ooah Bird! The male of the species lives at the North Pole, and the female of the species lives at the South Pole, and once a year they meet at the Equator, and all you can hear is Ooh! Aah! Ooh! Aah!' She broke down in laughter, joined by most of the others, although Monica did not look too pleased..

'Where did you come across that?' asked Phoebe between giggles.

'Oh, I met this crazy old Britisher, Oliver something, at a party once,' she said. 'It comes from something called the Wild West Show, where everyone does a chorus and then people take turns doing the bits they know, about all the animals and things in this kind of zoo, and he was performing – he knew a _lot_ of bits. It's rather dirty, but very funny if you've had a drink or two.'

'Not my style,' said Monica repressively. 'Okay, I've got to get back to the kitchen. See you guys later.'

'If you remember any more of that, Janice, I'd like to hear it,' said Phoebe, 'but maybe not at the dinner table.' They looked at each other mischievously and began giggling again.

Then Wendy, the head waitress, who now knew them as favoured customers, came to take their order, and temporarily the topic was shelved while they all sorted out what they wanted to eat. But it seemed that Joey could not let it drop.

'Do _you_ think things are gonna get any different?' he said, looking around. 'Or am I always going to be coming in a poor second after the restaurant?'

'Take it easy, Joe,' said Ross. 'After all, this has only been going for a month or so.'

'Yeah, what's the rush?' said Phoebe. 'After all, there are plenty of women you can date who won't want anything serious, when you can't see her.'

Joey pulled a face. 'That's kind of cynical, Pheebs,' he said. 'I couldn't do that to Monica. She'd take it very badly.'

'Wow, you _have_ changed!' said Rachel. 'Well then, don't you think she's worth waiting for? If I were a man, I think I would.'

'Goot efenink, modoms and sirs,' said Chandler, appearing suddenly at their table and doing one of the phoney accents he always used on them. 'Some vine for-a you, yes?'

They all grinned. 'Chandler, you're mixing dialects,' said Janice, smiling at him. 'I'd like just a small glass of a nice fruity red.'

'Glassared for de classy dame,' said Chandler in a rough New York accent, making a note on his pad. He did not appear to be disconcerted by her presence this time; in fact, he winked at her. Her smile trembled a little, and briefly a longing expression appeared on her face. Then she looked down and began fumbling in her bag, to produce a handkerchief and blow her nose.

'You're really enjoying this, aren't you, Chandler?' said Phoebe. 'You always seem in a great mood when we're here.'

'Yes, I really am,' said Chandler. 'Of course, I don't kid with the other customers like that, unless they come here a lot. But you know, we're building up a steady clientele. Between them, Monica and Paula are cooking like angels – they seem to be happy too – and I'm finding keeping track of our cellar is another thing that I enjoy and, believe it or not, am good at.'

'So what's good to go with the lamb?' said Ross. 'Let's have the benefit of your new-found expertise.'

Chandler laid a finger against his nose. 'I'll get you a couple of bottles that I keep for friends,' he said, then going back into his accent, 'Only for-a y'u, I make a price especial.' Turning to Janice, he added in his ordinary voice, 'You should try it, Janice. It's just what you'd like.' Before she could respond, he had whirled away.

Janice looked after him with her mouth open for a moment, then turned back to the table. 'Would you say he's coming on to me?' she said. 'Seriously, guys – this matters a lot to me. I don't want to get my hopes up, only to get dumped in crap city again.'

They all looked at each other, none apparently wishing to be the first to speak. Finally Rachel sighed. 'I honestly don't know, Janice,' she said. 'He's done this kind of thing with me too, off and on. Maybe it's just flirting, but it's not kind to do it with you, when you have this long history. I'd wait and see if he does it some more, and more seriously.'

Janice nodded, looking resigned. '_Thanks_, Rachel,' she said sincerely. 'You're a real pal. Okay, now, may I ask the table, _please_ don't let me drink too much. Grab the glass right out of my hand if I look like helping myself to more than maybe _two_ glasses. It's in this kind of situation that I start drinking.'

-----

Much later, the group were relaxing in full-fed contentment around the table, apart from Joey, who was now in the kitchen chatting to Monica. Ross could not remember when he had enjoyed a meal so much. The food and drink had been marvellous, and it helped that Phoebe was there, but everyone had contributed to make the evening go well, including Mark and, to his slight surprise, Janice. She really did seem to be making an effort to tone down a bit, and she had managed to stay more sober than the rest of them. She appeared to be enjoying herself, though sometimes, he noticed, her expression would go sad as her eyes followed Chandler round the room. He was beginning to feel considerable sympathy for her, now that he had had a chance to see her as a person.

Just as he was trying to catch Phoebe's eye, to hint that they might make a move to leave, his beeper went off. He looked, and looked again.

'Oh my God!' he cried, jumping up. 'Carol's having her baby!'

'Oh wow!' cried Phoebe, also jumping up. 'Are we gonna go, like, now?'

'It'll take a while,' said Janice in a soothing way. 'Probably hours and hours, unless she waited to go in until her labour was well along. So I wouldn't rush so fast you get indigestion – except that she might want you there, Ross, I guess.'

'Right, right, right,' said Ross distractedly. 'Thanks, Janice. Well, I think I'm gonna go straight there anyway. What about you, Pheebs?'

'I go where you go, lov-_er_,' said Phoebe, flashing a grin at him. He twitched a grin back, but his mind was evidently half elsewhere.

Chandler came over. 'So, it's finally happening?' he said.

'Sure thing,' said Ross. 'Looks like I'm going to be a dad. Tell Monica she's going to be an aunt, and of course tell Joey. But Janice thinks it may be hours yet, so no need for any special rush.'

Chandler surveyed the restaurant. 'Not much left to do here,' he said. 'We'll be along pretty fast, I think. Don't worry about the check, we'll hit you for it later. Which hospital?'

Ross, rushing to get his and Phoebe's coats, yelled the name over his shoulder.

'See you there,' called Chandler as they made for the door.

'Well, I guess I'll call in at the apartment first,' said Rachel. 'These aren't really clothes for hanging around a hospital in. Mark, thanks: it's been a great date, but …'

'I understand,' he said, smiling at her. 'This is quite an event for you guys, eh, first baby in the family?'

'Yes, it is sort of like that,' said Rachel, smiling back. 'If I'm not in at work tomorrow, you'll explain to Joanna, will you?'

'Sure,' he said. 'So, Chandler, what's my share of the check?'

They went off to sort things out, and Rachel and Janice were left together. Rachel looked at Janice, who seemed sad all of a sudden, and realised something. Janice desperately wanted to belong, and, probably because of her connection with Chandler, it was their group that she wanted to belong to – and here they were, all going off again and leaving her on her own.

'Why don't you come along too?' she said kindly.

'Oh, I don't think I could,' said Janice, looking startled. 'Carol doesn't really know _me_ at all.'

'Well, she doesn't know any of us that well, apart from Monica,' said Rachel. 'And you're almost part of the group now, after all the time you've been dating Chandler. If we get the idea she _really_ doesn't want you there, then I suppose you should leave, or maybe just keep out of sight. But it seems a shame that you should be kept out of this, when you've got to know us quite well.'

Janice grabbed her napkin and dabbed at her eyes. 'Rachel,' she said in a slightly choked voice, 'maybe I shouldn't say this, but you've gotten a lot nicer to me recently. Any particular reason?'

Rachel looked thoughtful. 'Well,' she said slowly, 'I guess … I seem to have started thinking about other people's feelings more. That's why the way Joanna treats her secretary, Sophie, burns me up. Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to make up for the stand-offish way we've behaved towards you in the past. And I sympathise with you over Chandler. As I said, he's blown hot and cold with me too.'

'Well, I _really _appreciate it,' said Janice. 'If there's ever anything I can do for you, I'll do it – even if it's put in a good word for you with Chandler.' She did a brief laugh.

'I don't think either of us is going to get anywhere there, to be honest,' said Rachel. 'You know what I think?'

'No, what?' said Janice, looking intrigued.

'I think he's really got a crush on Monica,' she said. 'But I don't know if he even realises it.'

Now Janice looked thoughtful. 'Yeah, maybe you're right.' She sighed. 'It's so hard to get over him, you know. Of course, I don't do myself any _favours_, keeping on going to places where he'll be, but … I _like _being around you guys, even though you've _changed_ from what you were, it seems to me.'

'Yes, I think we have,' said Rachel, 'and for the better, mainly. Come on, let's get a cab.'


	9. More Changes of Direction

Any comments gratefully received at oliver@odickinson.freeserve.co.uk if the Fanfiction Review system is not to be working.

Chapter 9: More Changes of Direction

As he rode in the taxi to the hospital, with Monica by his side, Chandler was silently cursing himself. He knew perfectly well that he should not flirt with Janice like that. It was not fair to her; it only encouraged her to have hopes that could never now be fulfilled. It was strange how, this time around, the spark between them had failed to reignite. Why was this? She had been well behaved tonight, and she looked as good as always. That, of course, was why he could not resist flirting with her, just as he did with Monica and Paula and Wendy and good-looking women customers in the restaurant, not to mention Rachel. After all the years of being nervous around attractive women, he was really enjoying his new-found ability to converse with them easily and get them interested. He loved seeing their eyes sparkle and making them smile, even laugh. But it was becoming obvious to him that he could not go on like this; indeed, he did not want to go on like this. More and more he wanted to have one special woman to love – but who, now that the relationship with Janice was so clearly over? The only new woman he had met recently was Joanna Waterman, and one date with her was enough. She was entirely too demanding, and rather older than him anyway. As for the women he already knew well, he found Monica very attractive, but in his belief she was really in love with her restaurant, now named Monica's Place, and after that with Joey. Phoebe was with Ross, in as solid a relationship as he'd ever seen, and he wouldn't dream of trying to cut in on it, even if he didn't find the new, intellectual Phoebe rather formidable. That left Rachel.

He smiled. Thinking about Rachel always made him smile. Of course, her great body was enough to make anyone smile, but he always thought first of that perky, expressive face with its sharp little chin, appealing eyes, and extremely kissable lips, and even more than these he loved the characteristic aspects of her behaviour, her sudden wild enthusiasms, her readiness to hug any of her friends who seemed like they needed hugging, and most particularly the way she did a little throat-clearing noise when she was embarrassed or perplexed by what someone had said, or wanted to change the subject quickly. Yes, there were a great many things to like about Rachel, and it would be easy to fall in love with her. He knew that he had been on the verge of doing so before he got back together with Janice for what had proved to be the final time, and he had then believed that she was developing feelings for him too. So, should he try again?

'Move it, dozy,' said Monica a little sharply. 'We're here.'

'Oh gosh, sorry,' said Chandler, and hastily grabbed for the door of the cab. As so often when he tried to do something requiring physical dexterity, he got in a tangle and took some while to sort himself out, to the amusement of Monica and the cab driver.

They had hardly entered the hospital when Rachel and Janice came hurrying after them, Rachel now dressed in more ordinary clothes.

'Janice?' said Chandler incredulously.

She looked down, evidently embarrassed, but Rachel spoke up, looking at him rather challengingly. 'I felt, she's been around so long, she's almost part of the gang and has as much right to be here as any of us. Have you got a problem with that?'

'Oh no, no,' said Chandler hastily, but for the moment he did not feel capable of dealing with Janice.

'Come on, let's find out where to go,' said Monica impatiently.

In a while they clattered into the waiting room, where Susan, Ross and Phoebe were already gathered around Carol. She displayed no surprise at seeing Janice, but rather thanked her for coming, and Ross too seemed pleased to have her there. As it proved, she was a definite asset, having attended the labours of friends and relations before, so she was able to give Carol advice and encouragement. She intervened decisively when Ross and Susan became competitive over helping her, pointing out that they were distressing Carol. Then they got into an argument over the baby's name, but with Phoebe's help she managed to get that quietened down too. So finally, without much more than the normal hassle, Ross and Carol's son was born, named Ben to general approval, and everybody was happy.

When they eventually left the hospital, Chandler found himself in the company of Rachel and Janice. It was quite early in the morning, with little traffic or people about yet, and shaping up to be a nice day, so they decided to walk back to the Village. Chandler began to notice that Janice was giving him significant glances, and finally decided he would have to speak.

'Janice, I'm sorry,' he said. 'I, um, shouldn't have been … flirting with you like that at dinner.'

'Which means …' she said, firing a painfully intent glance at him.

'I'm sorry,' he said again. 'But it really and truly is over.'

Janice stopped walking, her face fell and she produced a sound very like a strangled sob. Rachel immediately put an arm around her, but then Janice took a deep breath and drew herself up.

'You're right, you shouldn't have done that,' she said, looking him in the eye. 'It … raised _hopes_. At least you've been honest now.' She heaved a deep sigh. 'I knew it, really. I had more or less accepted it after that time in the restaurant, it's just that … well, anyway, so it's _over_. I'll be okay, and I hope we can remain friends, because I_ like_ hanging out with you guys.'

'You do that,' said Rachel, giving her a little hug. 'If I'm ever having a baby, I know who I'd want there, after seeing you with Carol,' she added lightly.

'Señorita, you don't know how good that makes me feel,' said Janice in an attempt at imitating Marlon Brando in One-Eyed Jacks. She and Rachel looked at each other and smiled. Before anyone could say any more, Joey and Monica came up beside them.

'All that is making Monica hanker for a baby,' said Joey in a rather resigned way.

'Natural enough,' said Rachel. 'It made me a bit antsy. Problem is finding a man who wants a baby too.'

'Ain't that the truth,' said Janice fake-mournfully. 'But weren't you hitting it off with that cute obstetrician, Rachel?' She flashed her a mischievous glance.

Rachel giggled. 'Yes, he was cute, but clearly I didn't make enough of an impression on him.'

'That surprises me,' said Chandler suddenly. Everyone looked at him questioningly. He felt slightly embarrassed at having blurted out his thought, but decided to expand.

'I can't understand why men aren't beating each other up to get to you first,' he said seriously.

Rachel blinked. 'Well, where I work, I'm … not around a lot of men who might be interested.'

'You should get out more,' he said, smiling.

'Yeah, right,' she said. 'Like I'm going to go out on my own, hoping to pick up some nice guy.'

'I have the perfect solution,' said Janice. '_Chandler_ asks you for a date.'

They all looked at her in disbelief.

'This is a joke, right?' said Chandler. 'Ha ha.'

'I'm perfectly serious,' said Janice. 'It's _obvious_ you're interested in her, and maybe you'd have gotten round to it before, if I hadn't … turned up again. Besides, I'd like to feel you're in _good hands_.' She emphasised this in her old way and added the dreaded laugh. 'Go on, Chandler, do it – just for me.' She looked at them slyly and did the laugh again.

Chandler now felt acutely embarrassed. Janice had really put him on the spot. But before he could say anything, Monica said in a humorous voice, 'You'd better do it, Chandler, or Janice will laugh a third time, and you know what they say about the third time.'

'That men can rarely manage one?' said Chandler, glad of the opportunity for a joke. This produced a burst of laughter and a half-serious protest from Joey, which gave him time to think.

'Would you like a date, Rachel?' he said softly.

She looked at him very directly, then gave a little smile. 'Okay.'

'Monday night we're closed,' he said. 'How about then? Any movie you'd like to see?'

'Let me check that out,' she said, 'but Monday sounds good.'

Janice gave an ironical cheer. 'Well, that's _that_ settled,' she said. 'Now, how are we gonna get Monica her baby?'

'Oo, that's a tough one,' said Rachel, suddenly feeling playful. 'Joey had better surprise her in her restaurant, because she's barely out of there these days.'

'That's making a big assumption, that Joey wants a baby too,' said Janice. 'How about it, Joey? Do your sisters want to be aunts?'

'Seems to me, Monica and me are not getting much say in this,' said Joey, grinning and playing along. 'But maybe I should talk to my agent about scheduling in time for a baby, eh Mon?'

'Oh ha ha,' said Monica rather bitterly. 'It's not funny really, you know.'

'Take it easy, Mon,' said Rachel, moving over to hug her. 'We're just kidding around. Seriously, I see no problem with combining cooking with a pregnancy, at least in the early months. It's running a baby _and_ a restaurant that looks hard.'

'I bet you could do it, Monica,' said Janice. 'You're so _organised_.'

'Yeah, well, my personal life is _not_ organised,' said Monica firmly, 'so let's drop it, shall we?'

Rachel and Janice looked at each other and giggled guiltily, like a pair of teenagers told off in school. Searching for another topic of conversation that might divert attention from the Monica-Joey situation, Chandler said, 'How's your work, Joe? Don't see you so much these days.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry about that,' said Joey, 'but what with rehearsals and publicity shoots and commercial shoots and all that, I'm pretty darn busy, and you guys are always at the restaurant. I suppose this is what it's like, being grown up.' He grinned at them, then sighed. 'I just wish sometimes the plotlines for Days Of Our Lives weren't so _dumb_. I really have trouble trying to act them convincingly.'

'Well, if that's how you really feel, you're doing a great job,' said Rachel. 'It never shows that you're not taking it seriously. But do you think you can keep that up?'

'It's the only game in town at the moment,' said Joey, 'and it is making me a lot of money, of which, I think you will be glad to hear, I am putting some away. But an even worse problem is, my acting career has got stuck on a plateau. Seems I've been pigeonholed as a soap actor. But I don't see anything else to do.'

'Maybe you should try a singing career,' said Monica. 'There's always a good crowd in the restaurant when you do a spot.' 

'You don't think they come just because I'm a star on Days Of Our Lives?' said Joey diffidently.

'Hell no, Joey, you sing well,' said Monica in surprise. Indeed, while no Sinatra, Joey had a good tenor voice and could put over the simple romantic songs and old ballads that he had learned really well.

'Aw, I don't think I'm good enough to make a living at it,' said Joey. 'At least, not as good a living as Days Of Our Lives is giving me.'

'It's a problem, all right,' said Rachel in a reflective manner. 'You get a job that you think is going to be exactly what you wanted, and then you find out all the things you didn't expect, that take the shine off it. There are times when I wish I was back waitressing or managing Central Perk.'

'Well, if you ever want a waitressing job, there's one permanently open for you in the restaurant,' said Monica. 'In fact, I'd like you for head waitress. Wendy's okay, but she's not as good as you would be.'

'Oh Mon, that's a great offer,' said Rachel, beaming at her. 'And I will say here and now, I'm taking it very seriously, but I need some time to think.'

'Take all the time you want,' said Monica, smiling back. 'But it's only fair to warn you, I'll work your tail off.'

'I'm used to hard work now,' said Rachel. 'In fact, I was working harder in Central Perk than I am in Bloomie's. Joanna stomps about, but she's not very efficient, really, except at making Sophie feel miserable. I wish I could think of something to do about that situation.'

'What's this?' said Janice, who had been listening to them attentively. 'Oh yeah, I remember you talking about it now. Is Sophie a good secretary?'

'As far as I can tell,' said Rachel. 'At least, she seems to run her part of things okay.'

'Then, you have to wonder, why doesn't she get a job elsewhere, if she's miserable,' said Janice. 'Does she seem hung up on the wonder of working at Bloomie's?'

'Not particularly,' said Rachel. 'It seems like it's just a job to her.'

'Well then, do you get the feeling, she hero-worships Janice?' Janice pursued.

'Mmmm,' said Rachel, looking very thoughtful. 'I see where you're going. You think she actually _likes_ being bullied by Joanna?'

Janice nodded. 'There are people like that. If you'll take my advice, you won't try to intervene. Chances are, this Sophie would not be pleased. Just leave them to their little games. But if it makes you uncomfortable, either try to transfer to another department or dump the job. Life's too short to _waste_ it doing something you only _half_ enjoy.'

They looked at her, amazed at all this good sense coming out of Janice. Rachel was particularly struck and came to a halt, staring at her, which made all the rest stop as well.

'Janice, that is such _great_ advice,' she said in a wondering tone. 'You know what?' She suddenly looked decisive. 'I'm going to take it. I'll tell Joanna it isn't working out. I'll probably have to work off some notice, but when that's done I'll gladly come work for you, Mon.'

'Oh sweetie, that would be marvellous!' said Monica enthusiastically. 'But are you sure? I can't afford to pay you what Bloomie's does.'

'I don't care,' said Rachel. 'I've decided, I want to work where I can interact with _people_. And although managing Central Perk was fun, I'd rather work for you.' She gave her an affectionate glance.

'Oh, Rachel, I love you!' cried Monica in a high-pitched squeal.

'I love you _too_!' replied Rachel on a similar note, and they embraced.

'No reason why you should be just an employee, now that I think about it,' said Monica, beaming at Rachel. 'You could be a partner, especially if you could invest something, eh Chandler?'

'Oh, absolutely,' said Chandler. 'And you could help manage, Rachel. I have more than enough for one person to do, with the wine cellar as well, and you could take over some of what Monica is doing at present.'

'I'd _love_ that,' said Rachel, beaming at them. 'But I'm afraid I've only got a very little I could invest.'

Monica and Chandler both made dismissive gestures. 'Just to have you on board and helping in the management would be terrific,' said Monica. 'Then I'd have more time for Joey.' She gave him a significant glance.

'Hey, that's great,' said Joey. 'Now you're talking about it, maybe I should invest too.'

'Aw shucks,' said Janice. 'I haven't got a penny to invest. I'll just have to be a regular customer.'

They all laughed. 'You do that, Janice,' said Monica, grinning at her. 'You'll always be welcome, if only for giving Rachel a push in the right direction – at least, it's right from my point of view.'

Chattering excitedly, they began to walk on again.

-----

It was Monday night, and Chandler was on his date with Rachel. There had been none of the unease he associated with first dates. They had enjoyed Clueless, and had just finished a great meal at a Chinatown restaurant, and the whole time they had been in complete harmony, talking readily and making each other laugh. Just now, though, he was getting rather frustrated. In her enthusiasm for what would soon be her job, Rachel had begun asking him a million questions about Monica's Place, and he was finding it wearing. He wanted to relax, not think about the restaurant on the one night he could get away from it. Fortunately, just as he felt he was going to have to say something to that effect, she paused.

'Gee, here I have been going on and on about the restaurant, when it's probably the last thing you want to think of, on your night off,' she said, looking at him with big remorseful eyes. 'I'm sorry, Chandler.' 

'When you look at me like that, I can forgive you anything,' he said playfully, although it was no more than the truth. 'So Joanna thinks she can manage without you, huh?'

'Oh yeah,' said Rachel a little wearily. 'She said she had been coming to feel the same thing, that, after all, maybe I didn't care enough. I have to finish all that reorganisation of her filing system that I was doing, and work out a full month from when I started, doing anything else she wants, and then I'm through. Some brilliant career in fashion, huh?'

'You seem a little down,' he said sympathetically.

'Well, I suppose I am,' she said. 'Ever since I tried out for that job at Saks, I thought it was what I most wanted to do. But, now I think about it, this was not like the job at Saks would have been.' She sighed. 'Oh well, it was worth it for the experience, and if I ever spot a fashion job that seems more my sort of thing, I can always say I have worked in Bloomingdales' fashion department.'

'I hope we can make your job at Monica's Place interesting enough to keep you,' said Chandler, giving her his best smile. 'So, are we all done here?'

'I guess so,' she said. 'Let's head back to the apartment and see what's doing.'

In the cab home, she proclaimed herself tired, and put her head on his shoulder. Almost automatically he put an arm round her. She made a happy little noise. Breathing in her perfume and the clean smell of her hair, he suddenly felt an intense desire to kiss her. Not wishing to give the cab-driver a free show, he tried to control this, but it was hard, and when they were standing on the sidewalk outside the apartment block, and she was looking at him seriously with those big eyes, he could stand it no longer, and put his arms round her.

'I would like very much to kiss you,' he said a little hoarsely.

She smiled enchantingly. 'I would very much like you to kiss me.'

And there it was. They moved, finally, from being good friends to something more. The elation he felt when he was kissing her properly and she was kissing him back made the blood in his temples pound. The kiss went on and on, until they heard a ribald voice yell, 'Get a room!'

They turned, and it was Joey, beaming at them. 'So, you had a good date?' he said, raising his eyebrows.

'I had a _great_ date,' said Rachel softly, squeezing Chandler and looking up at him with sparkling, almost mischievous eyes.

'Maybe you'd like another?' said Chandler, even hoarser than before.

Her smile broadened. 'There's nothing I'd like better.'

'Let's … let's go upstairs and talk about it,' said Chandler, taking her hand.

They went up the stairs. Joey was saying something about having the chance of a part in a new kind of series, some adventure thing, but Chandler could hardly focus on it. Instead, he was intensely conscious of Rachel beside him, her hand trustingly in his. Was this all it took, one kiss? Maybe it was that the kiss brought to the surface feelings that had been there for a long time, just waiting for their moment to show. He knew that he was mixed up with Rachel now, that his life had changed for ever. But the feeling did not scare him, as it once would have done. Now that he had a job that he enjoyed, he realised, his whole attitude to life had altered.

When they entered Monica and Rachel's apartment they found Monica, Ross and Phoebe there.

'Well, guess what?' said Joey, but before he could say anything more, Phoebe bounced up, her eyes shining.

'You've done it, haven't you?' she said to Chandler. 'You've kissed her.'

Chandler smiled and put an arm round Rachel. 'Yes, I have,' he said, looking at them confidently. 'The smartest thing I've done since leaving my old job.'

'Oh, that's so great, you guys!' cried Phoebe, and threw herself at them, just getting her arms far enough round to hug them both. Then Monica joined them, and Ross came up and whacked Chandler on the back, followed a moment later by Joey.

'I think you'll be great together,' he said. 'Now about my news …'

'Yes, Joey, you have some news?' said Ross.

'Well, I have this good chance of the lead part in a kind of adventure series, that takes place way back in the past,' Joey said. 'It has all sorts of weird stuff in it, magic and gods and monsters and all, kind of like that Prince Valiant comic strip. But there's one problem.' He sat down, looking at Monica with a serious, even sad expression.

'You have to go to LA to shoot it?' she said.

'Further than that,' he said. 'New Zealand. It has great countryside for this kind of thing, they said. But I'd be there for months, and if the series takes off I'd be going there year after year.'

'Oh,' said Monica. She looked at her feet. Everyone else felt uneasy and could think of nothing to say. Then she looked up again, with a slightly rueful smile on her face.

'Joey,' she said. 'You go for it. We've had fun, you and me, but it hasn't been easy for you when I've been tied up at the restaurant, I know. Maybe it's time to say, our affair has run its course.'

Joey's face showed pain. 'No, I don't feel like that,' he said. 'I'd like us to go on, but … I can't ask you to wait for me. It wouldn't be reasonable.'

'Well, we don't even know if you've got the part yet,' said Monica practically. 'So no need for sad break-up speeches and farewells. Let's celebrate Rachel and Chandler getting together.'


	10. Reversals Keep Right On Happening

Chapter 10: Reversals Keep Right On Happening

A month had passed since Chandler had finally taken the step of dating Rachel, and he had found absolutely no reason to regret it. In fact, he felt happier than he had ever been. It was not just that he and Rachel seemed to be falling completely in love. Since she had joined the staff of Monica's Place two weeks ago, the pressure had eased perceptibly, for she had shown herself to be, not only an excellent head waitress, but a capable representative for the restaurant in negotiations with suppliers and the like. Wendy, not happy about the fact that she had been effectively demoted, had left, but they had found an acceptable replacement, and were advertising for another to cope with the growing custom. Rachel had immediately made a valuable suggestion, that they experiment with opening under her management for the middle of the day, to provide coffee and light meals only, keeping serious meals for the evening. This looked likely to be a success, taking a lot of stress off Monica., which would make for greater harmony among them.

Tonight they were coming to the end of a celebratory evening. Joey had landed the lead role in the adventure series, to be called The Hero Prince, and was there to celebrate signing his contract with some of his Days Of Our Lives friends and various people connected with the new show, including the producer and writer. Ross and Phoebe had chosen to celebrate their enduring relationship the same night, with Janice as one of their guests, and Chandler and Rachel had joined them in a toast that celebrated their own first month together. Monica and Paula had surpassed themselves in the food that they had produced for the occasion, and compliments on every aspect of the meal and the service had flowed in from all sides.

Chandler surveyed the restaurant with an expression of general benevolence, that broke into a smile whenever he caught sight of Rachel bustling about in her usual cheerful fashion, smiling at everyone, and expanded into a positive grin whenever she looked at him, as she did fairly frequently, with a look compounded of love and admiration. He still found it hard to believe that this marvellous woman could love him, but he could only take her word for it, and bless her twice over, not only for making him happy, but for boosting his self-confidence by the mere fact of considering him worth loving. He had been a bit uneasy about how Janice would take his relationship with Rachel,  even though she had engineered the first date, but she declared herself pleased and showed not a trace of jealousy. She had not found anyone else, but was not making any kind of fuss about this, and when she was with her new friends always seemed in high spirits; she had in fact made Monica's Place her regular coffee shop and often brought work colleagues. Monica herself was somewhat more subdued these days, not wholly reconciled to Joey's imminent departure, it seemed, whatever she had said before. They had been continuing to see each other at mutually convenient times, of which there were more now, but it was evident that the relationship was, at best, on hold.

Somewhat distracted by these thoughts, Chandler at first failed to notice someone coming into the restaurant, until that someone gave a shout. He was a youngish street person type, dirty and unkempt, with wild eyes – in fact, to Chandler it looked as if he was high on some drug – and he was brandishing a pistol.

'Okay, now listen up, you fat cats!' the man yelled, swinging the pistol in a wide arc. 'This here's a _hold-up_! If nobody does nuttin' _stupid_, nobody's gonna get hurt. But you're all gonna take out them wallets and purses and jewelry and such, and _hand 'em over_!' 

Everyone hesitated for a moment, and he yelled, '_Come on!_'

Suddenly a chuckling noise was heard, which developed into a full laugh. It was Janice.

'What you laughin' at, bitch?' yelled the man. 'You think this is _funny_?' He waved the pistol at her.

'No,' said Janice, 'but a man trying to pull a robbery with his flies open sure is. Which were you aiming to fire?'

Amid subdued snickering, the man looked down at his flies in disbelief, to realise almost immediately that he had been suckered. But in his brief moment of inattention Janice – the Janice who had until recently been an object of derision among the group of friends, the Janice who even now was an affectionately tolerated hanger-on rather than a full member of the group – Janice exploded into action. At the time it looked like a single fluid motion, but as Ross reconstructed it with her afterwards, she must have risen straight onto her toes with perfect balance and taken two steps forward, before kicking the man in the groin with great precision and force. The would-be robber gave a very loud scream, dropped his gun and collapsed onto his knees, hunching up and making a continuous whining noise as he clutched himself. Janice then pivoted, to strike a raking blow along his jaw with her other foot; with a moan of agony the man went over. She stood over him, hands on hips, and heeled the gun behind her.

'Nobody – _nobody_ – robs my friends while I can do anything about it,' she spat at the fallen man. Then she looked round at the stunned company and grinned a very fierce, almost feral grin. 'Jeez, I never thought it could be that easy.'

There was a moment more of silence, then uproar, compounded of shouts of congratulation, exclamations of amazement, and a certain amount of laughter. Almost all the assembled company crowded around Janice apart from the producer and main writer of Joey's new show, who were huddled in excited discussion. Rachel and Phoebe got in first to hug her, babbling their fervent admiration.

Joey grabbed her hand and shook it warmly. 'That was the bravest thing I've ever seen. And you were so _fast_!'

'Yes,' said Ross, following suit. 'You couldn't want a better demonstration of martial arts.'

'Well, it wasn't that exactly,' said Janice. 'I got the basic idea from what Paul Newman does early on in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, when Harvey Logan challenges him for leadership of the gang. But I have taken self-defence classes and tried out with various martial arts, and I go to the gym regularly.'

'You must be in great shape,' said Monica enviously as she pushed through the crowd. She threw her arms around her. 'Thanks a million, Janice. We have all underestimated you.'

After ringing the police and ensuring that the would-be robber was safely immobilised, Chandler now approached the throng around Janice and caught her eye. 'Name your poison,' he said, beaming. 'Absolutely anything you like, and you can have a bottle. The most expensive in the house, I don't care – just name it.'

'Ooh, I'm not sure you should encourage me to drink, Chandler Bing,' she said, grinning at him. 'But thanks: I'll take a bottle of whatever you think is your best tasting red.'

'Coming right up,' he said, and went to the wine rack. As he returned, Joey's producer and writer rose to their feet, looking as if they had decided something, and came forward..

'Young lady,' said the producer, 'do you have any acting experience?'

'Not really,' said Janice, looking puzzled by the question, 'a little amateur stuff, and otherwise only what you get by living in New York.' She gave a brief burst of her machinegun laughter.

The producer winced, then smiled. 'We could use that,' he said to the writer, who nodded eagerly. Then he turned back to Janice. 'You probably know that we are starting a fantasy adventure series with Joey Tribbiani as the male lead. Would you be willing to consider taking a major female role? We think you have enormous potential.'

'Me, be an _actress_?' said Janice in amazement. 'Could I do something like that?' She looked around at the others, seeming to be desperate for reassurance, suddenly a quite different person from the totally self-confident woman who had routed a gun-carrying criminal.

'Sure you could, Janice,' said Rachel warmly, taking her hand and giving it a little pat. 'You could do anything if you set your mind to it, I'll bet.'

'Absolutely,' said Chandler simply.

'You really should go for it, Janice,' said Monica emphatically. 'You'd be a hit.'

'I'd pay good money to see you do martial arts stuff on the screen,' said Ross.

'You'll never know, if you don't try,' said Phoebe, winking.

'It would be great to have you on the team,' said Joey, beaming at her. 'Come on, acting's not so hard, really. I can tell you all kinds of stuff that will make it easier.'

Tears welled up in Janice's eyes. 'Thanks, you guys,' she said hoarsely, then, turning to the producer, 'Okay, I'll … I'll give it a whirl.' She gave her laugh at full strength, but nobody minded; instead, everyone cheered. Then the police arrived, and the tedious business of giving statements began.

-----

The imminent departure of Joey and Janice to begin filming The Hero Prince, now renamed The Hero Twins, proved to be a catalyst for many changes. Ross and Phoebe got engaged, explaining that they had to do this before Joey and Janice went away, and began looking for a new apartment closer to Monica's Place. Boosted further by the publicity surrounding the attempted robbery, Monica's Place became known as one of the best small restaurants of New York. Chandler and Rachel felt that the love between them had become so well established that they could seriously discuss moving in together, but Rachel decided she should stay with Monica for a while, to help her through the first days of Joey's absence.

This was, indeed, an increasingly difficult time, for there was no word from Joey.

'It's been nine days!' Monica said explosively early one evening when she and Rachel were sitting in the restaurant, relaxing before the customers started arriving. 'Time enough for a letter to get here, even from New Zealand. And he could have phoned any time.'

'I doubt if Joey could work out when it was daytime here,' said Rachel.

'I'm sure he couldn't,' said Monica. 'If he wanted to ring, he'd just have picked up the phone, and been surprised to discover it was the middle of the night here. But he hasn't!'

'But didn't you two agree that you couldn't be expected to wait for him?' said Rachel gently.

'I know,' Monica groaned. 'But I can't get the big lunk out of my head. Oh God, I'm sure he's with someone else.'

'You need to meet someone else, too,' said Rachel.

'Oh sure,' said Monica derisively. 'All kinds of guys pass through the kitchen!' Seeing the hurt in her friend's eyes, she patted her hand. 'Sorry, Rach. This was my choice, and most of the time I'm happy with it. I'll get over Joey in time.'

She went back into the kitchen. Rachel could see nothing that needed doing – Conchita, who was on this evening, was very competent – and so enjoyed the chance to sit and watch Chandler, who was at present checking the wine rack, while he was unaware of her. He looked so romantic and distinguished in his tux that she wished an orchestra would strike up so that they could dance. She felt she was so lucky to have fallen for someone who was already her friend, and was able to work with him at a job they both enjoyed.

Suddenly a shadow fell across the table. 'Rachel Green?' said a familiar voice.

She looked up, to see a well-remembered face. 'Dr. Burke!' she gasped, getting to her feet. 'How _are_ you?'

He smiled. 'I could be worse. But did you hear, Barbara and I broke up?'

'Oh no!' she cried. 'Oh, that's so sad.'

He shrugged. 'We had been growing apart for a long time. I've become reconciled to it.' He looked around. 'So this is Monica's Place, is it? Her parents told me about it. Looks nice. Is she here?'

'Sure,' said Rachel. 'Hey, Mon,' she called, 'look who's here!'

Monica emerged from the kitchen, to see the man on whom she had had a hopeless crush when she was a fat teenager. He looked a little older, but his curls were still black and plentiful, and his smile …!

'Monica, I'm amazed!' he said. 'You look so good. What happened to … I mean, you're so slim!

And running a restaurant, no less.'

'Part-running,' she corrected. 'Chandler and Rachel share with me in running it, and Ross and other friends have invested. So, why don't you stay and try one of our specials?' She flashed a warm smile at him, and he blinked.

'Well, I just dropped in to say hi,' he began. Rachel grabbed his arm and pulled on it as if to get him to a table.

'Oh, do, Dr. Burke,' she begged. 'We can give you as good a meal as you'll find anywhere in New York.' She knew all about Monica's old crush on him, and wanted to keep him there. At least it would distract Monica from thoughts of Joey, but she thought there was a good possibility something could develop here.

'Good wine, too,' said Chandler, coming up. 'I guarantee it.'

'You must be Chandler,' said Dr. Burke, holding out his hand. 'I'm Richard Burke, and I've known these two since they were babies.'

'I envy you,' said Chandler, shaking his hand vigorously. 'I'd have liked nothing better than to grow up in Rachel's neighbourhood.' He gave her a loving smile, which she returned.

Richard Burke smiled too, feeling a strange lightness of heart at the realisation that Chandler was clearly involved with Rachel, not Monica.

'Well, won't you try our Fish Plaki?' said Monica enticingly. 'The fish was fresh in today.'

Richard Burke found that he could not resist the two pairs of beautiful blue eyes gazing at him with exaggerated pleading expressions, and, even more important, that he did not want to part from Monica after having encountered her as an adult.

'Okay, okay, you got me,' he said, throwing up his hands. 'But it better be good, or I'll sue.'

Monica and Rachel beamed at him. 'Step this way,' said Rachel, leading him to their best table. 'I'll get you the menu – but Monica's Fish Plaki is to die for.'

As it happened, there were relatively few customers that evening, and Monica was able to spend several periods chatting with Richard. It was obvious to Rachel and Chandler that a powerful attraction was developing between them. When he finally left, after complimenting them on the food, the wine, the service, everything, Rachel asked Monica excitedly, 'Well, did he ask you for a date?'

'A date?' said Monica. 'I can't date Richard Burke! He's old enough to be my father!'

'That doesn't mean a thing,' said Rachel. 'It's not like he's _really_ old. Why, if I weren't with Chandler I might try to angle for a date myself! You can't let this one go, Mon. You were so into each other.'

'Weeell,' said Monica slowly, 'I am seeing him to have my eyes checked tomorrow.'

Rachel had the sense to say no more, simply hoping that the obvious chemistry between them would do its stuff. And so it proved. Their mutual attraction surmounted all obstacles, including the fact that he was twenty-one years older than her and had grandchildren, and they were an established couple within the week. Monica stopped fretting about why Joey hadn't written, and instead started fretting about how to tell him. Breaking the news of her relationship with Richard to her parents was another hard thing for Monica to do, but with the support of Ross, urged into it by Phoebe, who was delighted to see Monica so happy, she did so. Her mother, perhaps still remembering the phone call in which Monica had so effectively demonstrated that she would no longer tolerate her endless criticisms, was remarkably restrained in her comments.

Then came a development that was completely unexpected. In the course of bidding Joey an extremely fond farewell, Monica had taken a risk. She soon discovered that possibilities at reasonable odds come up reasonably often. She had begun to have suspicions when she first started dating Richard, amd these were confirmed by a missed period and a pregnancy test taken to be absolutely sure. Overcome by a feeling of elation that swept aside all considerations of any practical difficulties, she rushed out of the bathroom as soon as the test had shown positive and into Rachel's bedroom, though it was still rather early in the morning. A bleary-eyed Rachel and Chandler looked up at her.

'I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!' she shrieked, jumping up and down in her excitement.

'What?' screamed Rachel, jumping out of bed.

'I'm pregnant!' Monica yelled again. 'Isn't it great?'

'Oh honey, it's what you've always wanted!' cried Rachel, folding her into an embrace. 'It is Joey's, of course?'

As the two clung to each other, babbling excitedly, Chandler felt it necessary to introduce a note of reality. 'Joey's thousands of miles away,' he said. 'So what are you going to do?'

Monica and Rachel fell silent and looked at him; then Monica's face went down.

'Oh God,' she said quietly. 'I can't tell him. He'll want to come back and marry me, but how can I do that? I'm with Richard now. Rachel, what shall I do?' she wailed, reverting for once to the schoolgirl who had always relied on Rachel to give a lead.

Rachel hugged her. 'You _must_ tell him; he has a right to know. It's his kid too. But it doesn't have to be just yet. I hate to mention it, but miscarriages do happen, so maybe you should wait a while to broadcast this anyway. When you do tell him, you should insist that he stays where he is until the filming's finished, unless he can get time off without his producer and director getting mad. As for marrying, I think it would be crazy to marry if you don't love him. But whatever you decide, Chandler and I will give you all the support you need, though it's after the baby's born that you'll need it most.'

'Oh Rachel, you're such a friend!' Monica wailed, dissolving into tears on Rachel's shoulder.

'Now's my chance to pay you back for all you've done for me,' said Rachel lovingly, patting her on the back.

'You've already done that,' Monica sobbed. 'I couldn't have better help at the restaurant than you and Chandler.'

'Come on, cheer up, Monica,' said Chandler, also patting her. 'The worst is yet to come: you have to tell your parents, not to mention Ross.'

Monica gave a watery giggle. 'Trust you to come up with a joke like that. Well, I know it's going to be difficult in some ways, but I can't help feeling happy!'

-----

After a further month, Monica could not wait any longer, and told everyone who mattered in her life that she was pregnant, and that Joey was the father. Her parents, her mother in particular, took it better than might have been expected, while to everyone's surprise Ross did not act the outraged brother at all, simply offered any help that she needed, as did Carol and Susan, who were overjoyed that Ben would have a cousin near his own age. The difficult bit was telling Richard. Finally she did so, one Monday evening when Monica's Place was shut and he had come to the apartment for dinner.

'You're _pregnant_?' he said in disbelief. 'But I thought we'd always been very careful.'

'It's … not yours,' she said hesitantly. 'It's Joey's. We were together before he went to New Zealand, and, well, I took a risk when saying goodbye to him.'

Richard sat back on the couch in her apartment, looking thoughtful. After a while, he turned, to see her looking at him with such apprehension that he had to smile.

'Monica, _relax_!' he said. 'I'm not going to go ballistic. So, are you going to marry him?'

'I don't want to marry _him_,' she said. The unspoken corollary, I want to marry you, hung in the air.

'Mm,' he responded, and sat back to think some more. Unable to keep still, she got up and started to make some more coffee. She could not bear waiting on what he had to say without occupying herself. Finally he looked at her again.

'Okay,' he said. 'Here's what I think. Monica, I love you very much – but I _don't_ want another baby around. I've been through all that. So, what say we just keep on as we are? We don't live together, but we remain lovers.'

 'Would – would that be enough for you?' she stammered. He had been speaking of their moving in together recently.

'A lot of men would see it as ideal,' he said. 'As you know, I'd like to have you around a lot more, though, given the hours you spend at that restaurant, it might not make all that much difference whether we lived in one place or two.' He grinned. 'But I can _easily_ stand going on like this. Having you in my life, on any terms, is infinitely preferable to not having you in my life.'

'Oh Richard!' she cried, and went to hug and kiss him. For a while they embraced on the couch, but finally she pulled back.

'Don't you mind, that I'm having another man's child?' she said.

He shook his head. 'Not when I have children of my own, who are beginning to have their own children. But you know you're going to have let Joey know.'

She pulled a face and looked obstinate. 'I don't see why I should, when the rat still hasn't written.'

He looked at her mock-severely. 'Monica! You write to him _now_!'

'Yes, dad,' she said meekly.

'I'll give you dad,' he growled, grabbing hold of her again. The letter did not get written that evening.

In fact, it took a further week of nagging from her friends before Monica finally wrote to Joey. She was quite clear now that, though she wanted to acknowledge him as the father and share the child's upbringing with him, she would refuse to marry him. Having him away for so long allowed her to see that their relationship had been based on shared fun, which had been extremely good for her at the time, but would not have been a solid basis for a marriage even if she had not established a steady relationship with Richard. She put all this in her letter, and when it was posted sat back with as much patience as she could manage to await a response.

This came very swiftly, and she could feel the relief coming off it. He apologised for having failed to write, but the truth of the matter was that he had not only been having a great time filming the show and hanging out with the actors and crew, but he had formed a great relationship with Janice, which was the icing on the cake. He did not know if it would last, but he definitely felt that he and Monica were over, though he wanted to share responsibility for their baby and help raise it as far as he could. This news made Monica so light-hearted that she simply had to go tell Rachel, who was at Monica's Place managing the coffee shop side as usual. Rachel was slightly startled to see a beaming Monica come in waving a letter.

'You're never going to believe this,' Monica cried. 'As I suspected, Joey's in another relationship, and guess who with?'

Rachel took in the mischievous expression on Monica's face. '_Nooo_!' she said in overacted amazement. 'Not _Janice_?'

Monica nodded and burst into a fit of giggling, which Rachel joined in immediately.

'When I think how he used to hate having her around!' Monica gasped at a pause in their laughter, and then broke down again.

'Well, I think it's great!' said Rachel firmly, when she had got herself under control, 'though I hope Janice isn't building any hopes on it. Joey managed to have a real relationship with you, but I'm not sure he's the settling down kind.'

'Me neither,' said Monica, wiping her eyes, 'but I think Janice can take care of herself. You know, I'm finding I miss her as much as Joey.'

'Yeah, I do too,' said Rachel. 'Maybe she'll be back in time for the birth.'

At that moment Ross and Phoebe came in on their lunch break, and demanded to know what had brought Monica there. When they were told, Ross collapsed into a chair, laughing his head off, while Phoebe threw her arms round his shoulders and shrieked with laughter too.

'_Someone_ – or _something_ – is playing games with us,' said Ross, when he had recovered. 'It's the only explanation.'

'There you go with that mystical crap again,' said Phoebe in a loving tone. 

'Well, how else do you explain how we've all changed?' said Ross. 'I mean, it's not like we _decided_ to change – we just did, all of a sudden.'

Phoebe looked uncertain. 'Well, maybe. But some of us did make deliberate decisions to change jobs, and like that. Whatever, I like things much better the way they are.'

'So do I,' said Ross, Monica and Rachel in virtual unison.


	11. The Rovers' Return and After

I know the end of Chapter 10 might have seemed like The End, but it wasn't meant to be. This rather long chapter wraps it all up. Maybe it's a little hasty, but I have other stuff waiting to be typed and other ideas I want to explore when I have the time (I don't think Triangle is going to work, but I am willing to try if more interest is displayed), so I didn't want to carry this on for ever. I hope you all enjoyed it. Comments and reviews always welcome.

Chapter 11: The Rovers' Return and After

Rachel was humming to herself as she gave the counter a totally unnecessary wipe in Monica's Place. Everything was going well, she thought. Monica was near the end of her second trimester and beginning to show. She was in such good health that it sometimes required the united efforts of the entire staff of Monica's Place to prevent her from overtaxing her strength and make her take regular rests. She had positively insisted that she could look after herself and did not need Rachel around every moment, so that Rachel could finally yield to Chandler's urging – and that of her own heart – and move in with him. They had settled down together without any real problems. The transition was made easier for Chandler because he had lived alone for a while, not wanting to get in a room-mate whom he would then have to dislodge. It had put some pressure on his finances, but they had won through. The next step, of course, was marriage. She was in no doubt that she would marry Chandler if he asked, but for the present she was perfectly content to wait and enjoy living with him.

'Heyyy! How's my favourite coffeehouse manager?' came a very familiar voice, and she looked up to see a very tanned and stylishly dressed Janice standing in the doorway, fashionable travelling bag slung over one shoulder, beaming at her.

'Janice!' she cried, and ran out from behind the counter to embrace her. 'It's so great to see you!'

'It's great to see you too, sweetheart,' said Janice, returning her hug strongly enough to make Rachel gasp. 'And before I say _anything_ else, I want to thank you for encouraging me to try my hand at acting. I've had a _blast_, and they pay me for it too.' She gave a great whooping laugh.

'You're going to have a cup of the best coffee I can offer, I hope?' said Rachel.

'Sure,' said Janice enthusiastically. 'And a big one. You can't get coffee like New York's over there. Say, you don't happen to have one of your cakes available, do you? Even a cookie would do. I only got off the plane a short while ago, and I'd much rather have anything you've got than airport food, so I waited.'

'I can do better than cake or cookies,' said Rachel. 'How about some of Monica's _baklavà_? It's not up to Eléni's, but then, nothing could be.'

'Ooh, _baklavà_!' said Janice with even more enthusiasm. 'Lead me to it.'

Before long they were seated at a table and Janice was demolishing a large cup of coffee and an equally large portion of _baklavà_ with evident enjoyment, as Rachel watched her indulgently.

'So how is Monica?' said Janice. 'Still with …?' She paused, evidently searching for the name.

'Richard,' Rachel supplied. 'Yes, they are still together, and very happy as far as I can tell. He's taking all the baby business very well – but then he can afford to, since she's not living with him.'

'She's … okay about me and Joey?' said Janice a little diffidently.

'Don't worry about a thing,' said Rachel, patting her on the hand. 'The news came as a great relief to her, to be honest. I hope you won't mind my saying, but we were rather surprised. I mean, there was a time when Joey couldn't _stand_ even being near you.'

Janice chuckled happily. 'I'll bet you had a good laugh over that. Well, you know, when you're all thrown together in a strange environment, working together all the time, relationships can easily develop. He was very kind to me, passing on some of the basics of acting, though he's not so good at thinking about how he does things as others were. They were all kind, in fact, but, well, I liked Joey best.' She flashed a smile. 'But you shouldn't think of this as any great romance. We're very happy to date, but we have no long-term plans and aren't going to start living together or anything. He's got an apartment lined up, and I'm back in my old one. Are you still living with Monica?'

'No, I moved in with Chandler nearly two months ago,' said Rachel, blushing a little.

'That's good,' said Janice, beaming at her. 'I'm _really_ happy that that has worked out so well. He couldn't be in better hands.' She took Rachel's hand and gave it a strong squeeze, looking completely sincere.

'So, tell me all about shooting the series, and if you met any big stars, and all that,' said Rachel.

Janice was happy to hold forth, and kept Rachel, the morning waitress Mary Ellen, and the few customers who had come in enthralled with tales of the filming. She would not reveal too much about the theme of the series, although she did mention details of particular episodes, and one constant element.

'Say, you know that laugh of mine, that used to drive you guys up the wall?' she said. 'Well, in the series, it's my _secret weapon_. Any bad guys that hear it at full strength are _demoralized_, even monsters and stuff, and they have to cover their ears at least, or run and hide. But I have to be _so_ careful how I laugh in normal circumstances, because I make glass shatter, windows break, that kind of thing, and' – she slapped the table and began giggling – 'my character has a very_ good_ sense of humour!' She bent over, temporarily helpless with laughter.

Everyone else laughed with her. Rachel privately marvelled at the change in Janice. It was as if going into acting had released something in her personality. She showed an easy self-confidence that she had not displayed before, except when routing the robber, and she was if anything even more flamboyant than she used to be, but in a wholly endearing way, and her warm heart and generous spirit were very much in evidence. She did not have a bad word to say about any of the people she worked with, as became obvious when one of the customers revealed himself to be a freelance reporter and asked her for an interview. This was to be the first of the famous Janice interviews, universally recognised by the tabloids, celebrity magazines, and chat shows as good value because of her quick-witted responses and outspoken, often pungently phrased comments. These were almost always directed at intrusive paparazzi, free-lance photographers and interviewers, over-demanding directors, and self-important studio brass, rather than at her fellow actors, scriptwriters and all the technical people who worked in movies and TV. Naturally, this made her extremely popular in the profession, even if many considered her hopelessly naïve and uncritical of her acting colleagues.

The morning had moved along, and Rachel had had to get to work again behind the counter, when Joey finally came in, to be embraced first by Janice, then by Rachel. He had not changed very much, although Rachel thought she detected signs of a new maturity.

'How is Monica?' he said to her quietly, when he had a chance to talk; the reporter had cornered him too.

'She's fine, Joey,' Rachel reassured him. 'I hope this doesn't bother you, but she is completely gone on Richard. She doesn't regret her love affair with you for a moment, but that's all ancient history for her now.'

'That's great,' he said. 'I bet you guys were surprised about me and Janice, huh?'

Rachel couldn't help grinning. 'To be honest, we all laughed like anything.'

Joey grinned also. 'It's like … she's a completely different person from what I imagined. How I can have been so dumb! Isn't she great?'

They both looked at Janice, centre of an admiring audience and happy to be so, but completely free of any diva-like airs.

'You're a lucky man, Joey Tribbiani,' said Rachel. 'I wouldn't let that one get away, if I were you.'

Joey pulled a face. 'Janice is great, but … I'm not sure I see this as _really_ long-term. Don't tell her I said so, though.'

Rachel smiled. 'Still the same old Joey.' She reached out and tousled his hair. 'It's good to have you back.'

At lunchtime there was something of a gathering of the clan, for Ross and Phoebe came in, as they frequently did, and also Carol and Monica, with Ben. Monica was very happy to see Joey, but her reaction to him was clearly that of a friend and no more. Conversation centred first on the publication of Ross and Phoebe's first guidebook, to the museum's collection of very early palaeontological material, which looked like being an immediate success, and then on their plans to get married in the near future, before Monica became too uncomfortably large.

'But I can't be a bridesmaid,' she insisted. 'It just wouldn't look right.'

'Okay,' said Phoebe. 'But couldn't you be, like, Matron of Honour? That would be appropriate. And Rachel's going to be Maid of Honour, and Chandler Best Man.'

Monica looked uncomfortable. 'I think a very pregnant Matron of Honour is going to take people's attention away from you,' she said. 'I think it should be our mom, if you want a Matron of Honour. I'll just be the sister of the groom, and great friend of the bride.'

'Oh, okay,' said Phoebe insouciantly. 'I don't want to push you into anything. Now, I have some other people to ask.' She began trying to catch Janice's or Joey's eye, but they were engrossed in conversation with each other. Finally, Phoebe yelled impatiently, 'Hey, Hero Twins! Over here!'

Both jumped and looked at her, startled. She smiled.

'Janice, would you be a bridesmaid at our wedding?' she said. 'And Joey, will you be a what-do-you-call-it?'

'An usher,' said Ross. 'We'd be very pleased.'

'Sure,' said Joey happily, while Janice looked very touched, and said quietly that she'd be thrilled to do it.

'Then that's settled,' said Phoebe decisively. 'Okay, Joey and Janice, what kind of hokum is your series offering to the public? I hope this isn't supposed to be, like, some _real_ period in the past. Are there any dinosaurs in it?'

'There are monsters that look like dinosaurs sometimes,' said Joey. 'But it's not meant to be any time in the past, as far as I know.'

'It's not even clear if it's meant to be our earth,' said Janice. 'None of the placenames are real names, for instance, and it's all fantasy, with magic and ghosts and monsters and all. See, the basic premise is that our characters are twins by the same mother, fathered on the same night, but his father is a god and mine is a mortal. But we are brought up together, and when Joey's character decides to go out into the world and be a hero and make it a safer place for human beings and all, I insist on going with him.'

'Yeah, and all the time I'm trying to protect her, but actually she's looking after me,' says Joey. 'She's smarter than me, you see, and just as good at fighting, and she has this secret weapon.'

Janice gleefully told them again about the secret weapon, which made everyone laugh. 'The writers are _great_,' she said. 'Although some of our adversaries are pretty grim, and there's a lot of ferocious fighting, there's also a lot of light-hearted stuff, which should make anyone laugh. I liked doing that the best, to be honest.'

'There's all kinds of great characters,' said Joey, 'and you should see the scenery! New Zealand has got everything, as far as that goes.'

'It sounds like a potential smash hit,' said Ross. 'I hope it takes off for you guys. I'm certainly going to watch it.' He looked slightly defiantly at Phoebe.

'That's okay, Ross,' she said, smiling at him. 'So will I. It's when they start getting the real past so wrong that I feel antsy. People shouldn't be misled.'

'There are people out there who don't even know who won the Second World War, Phoebe,' said Carol, 'for all the stuff that's constantly produced about it. Some levels of ignorance are _invincible_.'

'Well, I'm never going to stop trying to tell them better,' said Phoebe mulishly.

Ross leaned across to hug her. 'My dear academic Phoebe.'

Phoebe giggled, and everyone else smiled. More than one reflected on how Phoebe had changed, although Rachel felt that this was simply the reverse of the confident belief that she had displayed in her alternative world picture before.

Ross and Phoebe's marriage was not a very lavish affair, but it attracted some media attention because Joey and Janice were participating. Already a good deal of advance publicity and rumours had leaked out about the Hero Twins series, and as they had been involved in promoting the show they had become minor celebrities; Joey, of course, was already known for his work on Days Of Our Lives. 

Janice was extremely firm with the media personnel who showed up at the wedding, and went to great lengths to ensure that they realised that Ross held a significant position, and Phoebe was beginning to do so, in a serious academic discipline. 

'If I _ever_ hear that _any_ of you has referred to either of them as a geek, or _anything_ like that, no more interviews for you _or_ whatever you rode in on, paper, magazine, TV programme, _okay_?' she threatened at full volume. The media personnel quailed and promised to show proper respect for Ross and Phoebe's vocation.

Jack and Judy Geller were very pleased to have a new daughter-in-law who had so much in common with Ross, but Phoebe was already beginning to make it quite clear that she would put up with no nonsense from Judy. Her announced intention of trying for a baby immediately was music to Judy's ears, although it deprived her of an opportunity to contrast Monica and Phoebe to the discredit of one of them. No one could avoid noticing that Monica was pregnant, but she was still in blooming health, and even her mother, although she had shown signs of reverting to type on the basis of superior knowledge of pregnancy and giving birth, could not really find anything to criticise. She did venture one remark about Monica's maternity clothes, but before Monica could respond Judy noticed Phoebe turning a very beady eye upon her, and hastily offered to get Monica something more to eat.

'After all, you're eating for two now, dear,' she said. She looked about to enlarge on this, but Phoebe somehow seemed to intensify her gaze, and Judy hurried off.

'I'll just bet she was going to make some comparison with when you were a teenager,' said Phoebe to Monica, grinning. 'But don't you worry: it's going be two against one, from now on.'

'Thanks, Pheebs,' said Monica sincerely. 'I can handle her better, and she has improved, but this feature of her character is like one of those weeds that you can never completely chase out of your garden. It is great to have the US Cavalry show up from time to time.'

They smiled at each other.

'Say, do you think this will give Chandler and Rachel ideas?' said Phoebe, looking at the dance-floor, where Chandler and Rachel were circling to a slow romantic tune, wholly wrapped up in each other.

'I hope so,' said Monica. 'But now that I'm having to take more of a back seat at the restaurant, they're working harder than ever.'

'What do you think about Joey and Janice?' Phoebe went on, looking across to where they formed the centre of a very lively group.

Monica shook her head. 'I don't think either of them is _really_ serious,' she said. 'But if they keep doing this series together, who knows?'

In the new year the Hero Twins series began to be aired, and it was a hit from the start: a second series was commissioned after only three episodes had been shown. This meant that Joey and Janice would have to return to New Zealand shortly, but they were able to watch the first episodes with their friends, who became enthusiastic fans of the series, even Phoebe. As they had been promised, there was a good deal of exciting action, as well as exotic settings and colourful characters. But the high point in the early episodes for all of them was the occasion, which Janice and Joey had carefully kept secret, when she laughed a dungeon door off its hinges. This sequence, which included inventive use of special effects, as the door buckled and the hinges cracked, and frantic joking on Joey's part to keep Janice's character laughing, reduced them all to complete hysteria, even Janice and Joey who had already seen a rough cut, and later references to it, which they could not resist making, had almost as strong an effect.

'Oh Lord!' said Monica, wiping her eyes after one such occasion. 'I'm surprised that didn't send me into labour when I first saw it. Of course, you guys knew what was coming.'

Janice grinned. 'Talking of labour, when are you due?' she asked. 'I'm guessing, in a couple of months or so?'

'Yes, should be early March,' said Monica.

'Right,' said Janice decisively. 'We'll be off to New Zealand soon, but I'll be here, if I have to swim. I'm getting it put in my contract, I get a week off around then. You'd better not be _late_, is all.' She made a tremendous mock frown at Monica. 

'Oh Janice, you don't have to do that,' said Monica, very touched.

'I _want_ to,' said Janice, looking very determined. 'You guys are like a second family to me now.'

So it was that when, finally, Monica went into labour in early March, the gathering which attended the labour included Janice, though not Joey; the producers of the series had been willing to let Janice go for a short while, but not both of them. On the day itself, Monica delayed going into hospital for a long time, insisting that the pangs she had been feeling since early morning were not regular enough, and must be false labour. But when Janice arrived at the apartment, having been informed by Rachel that she thought Monica was in labour even though Monica didn't think so, she at once told her to get to the hospital.

'Labour pangs can be irregular,' she said, 'and yours are lasting long enough, and hurting enough, to look like true labour to me. And _don't_ bother about letting everyone else know; I'll handle that, if you'll give me your address book.'

'But …' Monica began.

'_Go_!' yelled Janice in the manner of her Hero Twins character. 'Or,' she put on a threatening look, 'do you want to make me _laugh_?'

Monica giggled. 'Okay, okay,' she said. 'If you're going to do everything, phone me a taxi.' She lay back on the couch in luxurious relaxation.

Janice grinned. 'Glad to.'

When Monica got to the hospital, supported by Phoebe and Rachel, who had come from their workplaces at once, Janice was proved right. Monica's labour was far advanced. An even larger gathering arrived than for Ben's birth: Chandler and Ross came with Janice, and then at intervals Carol, Richard, and Jack and Judy Geller checked in. Not long after her parents' arrival, Monica was told to start pushing. In a revival of her old competitiveness, this led her to try to push the baby out faster than it wanted to come.

'Monica dear, you'll strain yourself,' Judy protested.

Monica looked obstinate. Judy looked around. 'Janice, you tell her,' she appealed.

'She's right, Monica,' said Janice. 'You should always remember, even your mom can be right some of the time.'

Judy bridled at this, but said nothing. Monica smiled and said, 'Okay, I'll ease up. But I would so like to get this _over_!'

'We all feel like that, dear,' said Judy with some sympathy, 'but Nature has to be allowed to take its course. It won't be all that long now.'

It was at this point that the midwife demanded that everyone except the father leave.

'No father here,' said Phoebe. 'Judy, you should stay with her.'

'I want Janice!' said Monica emotionally. 'She's the one who helped Carol through it.'

Judy and Janice looked at each other. 'We'll both stay,' said Janice diplomatically. Judy nodded, and the midwife, under pressure from several determined females –  – for Phoebe and Rachel weighed in when she showed signs of resisting Monica's wishes – could only agree.

A bit over two hours after she had entered hospital, Monica gave birth to a daughter, more or less exactly at 8 in the evening of March 4th, 1996. The baby, whom everyone proclaimed to be beautiful, though she looked much the same as most babies, was announced to be Josephina Judith Geller-Tribbiani – an order of names on which Monica insisted with a vehemence unusual even for her – to general acclaim. In the mysterious way that such things do, the news that a star of the Hero Twins was attending a friend's labour had leaked out, and reporters and photographers began to show up, so that the birth became even more of an event than Monica had anticipated. Se actually welcomed the attention, becoming more like the old controlling Monica than she had been for some time, and it was some while  before the united efforts of Judy, Carol, Phoebe, Rachel, Janice and the midwife could persuade her that she needed to rest.

'Well,' said Judy as they left the waiting area, 'a _second_ grandchild. Things aren't turning out so badly after all, are they, Jack?'

As he agreed, Phoebe went 'H'm' in a marked manner. 'Why "after all", Judy?' she asked rather pointedly.

Judy looked at her apprehensively, even seeming to blush a little. 'I only meant …' she began, and then dried, not sure how to go on.

After letting the silence last a little, while Judy looked more and more uncomfortable, Phoebe waved a hand and said, 'Never mind.' She felt it did no harm to put her mother-in-law on the spot every now and then, after all the times she had made Monica so unhappy, but she didn't want to torment the poor woman too much. She did not understand how she managed to intimidate Judy so, but it was a very useful talent to possess, and she intended to make full use of it. 'Now seems as good a time as any to tell you our news, eh Ross?' she went on.

'Yes,' said Ross, beaming. 'Phoebe's pregnant.'

'I thought you looked a little bigger,' said Judy, rallying. 'When's it due?'

'Should be in early October,' said Phoebe. 'And we've decided, we don't want to know what the sex is, so it'll be a surprise for all of us.'

As they chattered on cheerfully about this, Chandler, behind them, looked at Rachel, who seemed pensive.

'Everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it,' he chanted.

She grinned at him. 'It certainly seems that way. It's going to change things in our gang, isn't it?'

'Things have changed a lot already,' said Chandler. 'And they're going to go on changing. That's real life, I guess.' He felt in his pocket. 'This is maybe not the best time, but …' He produced a box and right there, in the reception area of the hospital, went down on one knee, opening the box in front of Rachel for her to see the ring set with small diamonds. 'Rachel, my dearest love, will you marry me?'

Rachel gasped with surprise, and for a moment tears welled up in her eyes, almost blinding her. 'Chandler, of _course_ I will,' she said happily, and reached forward to embrace him. Eagerly, he placed the ring on her finger and stood to hold her. She hugged him hard, putting all her delight at this fulfilment of her dreams into the hug.

He gasped. 'Easy, Rachel. You wouldn't want me with cracked ribs all taped up at the wedding.'

'No,' she said, 'let alone the honeymoon.' She put up her face to kiss him.

'Is that what I think it is?' cried Janice, who had been chatting with Carol as they brought up the rear. 'Yes it is, by cracky: it's a _ring_! Have you really proposed, Chandler?'

He nodded. 'I couldn't bear to wait any longer.' Rachel looked at him in amazement: had he really been planning this for some time?

'How long have you been waiting, then?' she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

He grinned at her. 'Oh … since soon after you moved in, and I found out how great it was actually living with you. But I didn't want to rush things too much.'

'Well, good for you,' Janice said emphatically. 'Good for both of you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.'

'Yeah, congratulations,' said Carol with enthusiasm. 'So you're all settling down, huh?'

'All but Joey and Janice,' said Chandler, winking at Janice.

'Oh, I expect I'll come to it,' said Janice, 'but I'm having too much fun at the moment, and as for Joey – ' she giggled. 'The day he settles down, pigs might fly.'

'So you don't think you might grab him yourself?' said Rachel in slight disappointment.

Janice shook her head. 'He's a great guy, and we have a lot of fun, but I'm not sure I'd trust him as far as I could throw him at the moment. He's too ready to be attracted to every cute woman he sees, and too good at attracting them. In ten years, maybe … but I don't want to wait that long if I can help it!' She gave a great whoop of laughter. 'Even after all I've seen, I want one of those little things that Carol and Monica have, and Phoebe is going to have. But I'll have to wait till the Hero Twins is pulled, I think: juggling a pregnancy and the shooting schedule would be _murder_.'

'We'll have to talk about your schedule,' said Rachel. 'I'd like you to be Maid of Honour, if you're willing, since you pushed Chandler into asking me out.'

'Thanks, Rachel,' said Janice. 'I'd love to.' She grinned. 'But if Monica gets married I'll have to beg off. You know what they say: three times a bridesmaid, never a bride.'

Laughing, they went out into the night.


End file.
